I'm Watching
by Lil Badger 101
Summary: The team are slowly breaking down without him...and all Greg can do is watch. He want's to make it right, but does he have the power? Warning: Character death.
1. Prologue: Waking Up

**A/N: Bonjour! This is yet another Greg story! Do I do anything else ;) This is quite a dark and emotional one as I yet again attempt a different kind of story that I've never done before so I hope you enjoy this little snippet to start with, it will get longer as I move into chapters. **

**Warning: Obviously character death**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with the CSI franchise.**

**Please Review and let me know if I should continue :) x**

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**Prologue: Waking Up **

Bright.

It's way too bright. I shield my eyes with my hand and squint. No wonder, everything here is white. Am I in a hospital? I don't remember anything. One minute I was in the car talking to Nick as he drove us back to the lab, the next, darkness. I don't know what happened but I remember a distinct screech and a loud crashing sound…but that's it.

I am surrounded by smoke…no not smoke, something very similar. It's soft and white like a giant duvet. Am I in bed? A sleep? Concussed? I sit upright and look around finally opening my eyes fully.

Nothing.

There is nothing. The world surrounding me is just a blank canvas, almost as if I were sat at the end of the universe, at the end of space and time. I must be dreaming. This is one boring dream as it appears my imagination can't be bothered to think of anything to fill it.

"Hello?" I call uncertainly. I hope for someone to answer, anyone, but they don't. "Please, is anyone there?" I stand up now. "Whoa" I say in surprise as I look down at myself, these are not the clothes I was wearing a minute ago. "Freaky" I mutter.

I am now wearing my favourite red converse, favourite jeans and my Radiohead concert t-shirt along with my most comfortable red hoodie. I _was_ wearing my work boots, another pair of jeans and a plain blue button down shirt. I would _never_ wear the stuff I'm wearing now to a crime scene. Firstly I look really unprofessional and secondly it's all my favourite stuff, I would never risk getting blood and gunk all of it.

I begin to walk, but it almost feels like I'm not if that makes sense. Like my feet aren't really touching the ground. I walk and walk but still I see no one. I start to run then but this place never seems to come to an end. Maybe I am in a coma and I'm trapped in my mind. The place is empty after all so it sure seems like my mind. I run and run.

"Hello!" I call loudly again, getting more panicked now "can anybody hear me!"

There is a loud thud as something lands on the ground behind me. I stop running and look round; I'm not even out of breath.

Wait. Not out of breath?

And that's when I realise.

I do not have a heartbeat.


	2. Chapter 1: Facing Acceptance

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews/ reading/ follows already, I'm so happy! It means so much to me :) Now I do know where I'm going with this but I need your opinion. Should I keep Greg deceased or come up with some way to resurrect him? Maybe you want to wait a few chapters before you decide but please do let me know!**

**Please review :) xx**

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**Chapter 1: Facing Acceptance **

"Who are you!?" I yell to the person who landed behind me "what the hell is going on!?"

"I wouldn't say hell around here if I were you" the woman replies as she gets up from the ground and brushes herself down. She is fairly small, with small brown eyes and medium brown frizzy hair. I recognise her.

"Holly?" I say quietly at first, but then I become sure and move closer towards her "Holly Gibbs?" The CSI who I only met once on her first day, killed at a shootout at a crime scene.

"The one and only" she says putting her hands on her hips.

"But you're…you're dead" I say quietly still going closer. I stop when the realisation hits again "but that must mean I'm…" it all makes sense. Not having a heartbeat, seeing this ghost. I want to cry so badly but I can't.

"Look, I'm just as surprised as you are" she says frowning at me a little "you're not who I was expecting."

"Well, then who were you expecting?" I ask. Maybe if there was some kind of mistake then I can go back.

"Nick" she says looking around, maybe to see if he has materialized too. "It wasn't meant to be you" she says her voice filled with pity.

"What, why would you want to kill Nick?" I ask in utter shock.

"Hey, that's not up to me" Holly says raising her hands defensively. "It was his time. God moves in mysterious ways and all that jazz" she says casually and begins to walk, I jog to catch up with her.

"Well, if me being dead means Nick is kept alive then I'm glad" I say looking at my feet which no longer touch the floor.

"Something must have happened…" Holly says. She looks distant, like she's thinking hard. I get a little nervous as I'm worrying she might swap Nick and I round.

"So… I'm in heaven?" I ask trying to distract her.

"Kinda. This is sort of like heavens waiting room" she replies "you're waitng to be tagged"

"Tagged?" I echo in confusion. She hold out her wrist which indeed has a tag on it, sort of like the ones you get in hospital. It reads:

_Name: Holly Jayne Gibbs  
Age: 30  
D.O.D: 12__th__ January 2000  
C.O.D: bullet wound _

"You'll get one after they preform your autopsy" she explains and pulls her hand away._ My_ autopsy. That's just so wrong.

"You're taking me to see them right?" I ask almost a little too hopefully "why else would you be here?"

"Yes. Just call me your guardian angel" she says with a light flutter of her eyelashes and a smile "you know how it goes. You have unfinished business and I am here to help you"

"Well great, let's go now!" I say very eager to see my friends again, to say goodbye. It still hasn't totally hit me. I'm dead. There is nothing I can do about it however so I might as well take it in my stride.

"Erm…I don't think now is the best time" Holly says shifting nervously.

"Please" I say taking hold of her arms and looking her in the eyes. We must have some kind of connection; why else would it be her who was sent to look after me?

She sighs "Ok…but I warned you" I feel the wind move around us and we are no longer in the pristine white place.

Instead we are now stood at the side of a road. It's night-time and the area is only illuminated by the moon and the stars. It's deadly silent and I wonder if we are in the right place. I look questionably at Holly, she points down the road. I see the gathering of vehicles, red and blue lights flashing. I run towards them.

"Greg, wait!" Holly calls and I hear her start to come after me but I don't stop, I have to see what's going on.

I reach the vehicles to find two of them totally wrecked in some kind of head on collision. I recognise one to be Nick's Denali. I suddenly become aware of loud sobs coming from the other side of the vehicle. I cautiously walk round.

Nick sits on the floor crying his eyes out whilst Catherine rocks him gently like you would with a child. She has tears streaming from her eyes too, but they fall silently as she does not sob. She looks like she's in shock. More cries of anguish this time from another female. I drag myself away from them and come across Sara and Grissom. Sara is sobbing loudly into Grissoms shoulder as he rubs her back. He doesn't cry. Grissom never cries. He just looks wide eyed and distant. Next to him stands Warrick, again not crying but shaking.

"Guys?" I say quietly but no one reacts "Guys please" I wave my hand in front of Warrick's face, nothing.

"I'm sorry" Holly says as she comes up behind me, she sounds solemn. "It's one of those they can't her you or see you deals."

"No" I say shakily. Again I want to cry, I want to cry so bad but I can't. I can feel the tears but they refuse to fall. "No they have to know that I'm ok…Sara" I say going to put by hand on her back but it falls right through. "I can't touch her either?" I ask. Holly nods. "Sara, please don't cry" I don't know why I bother because I know she can't hear me, but I need her to know. "Sara please I'm not worth your unhappiness. You deserve to be happy all the time."

I go back over to Nick and Catherine crouching down in front of them. "Nicky?" I say quietly, he of course does not react, just sobs into Catherine's chest. I never called him Nicky when I was alive but now seems like an appropriate time to start. "Nicky it'll be ok I promise. I won't ever leave you not ever" I say with determination in my voice. "Cath…" I look at her, eyes puffy and red as she strokes the back of Nicks head trying to calm him down. "Mom" I say trying to wipe her tears with my thumb but I can't. I wish I had told her that's who she was to me.

I get up and walk over to a police car. In the back sits a man slumped up against the window with his eyes closed. Brass stands looking at him with a hand on his gun. He looks like he is ready to open the door and shoot the guy right in the head. That's how I know this man is responsible for the car wreck.

There is an ambulance here too. The back doors are open and I stand looking in. A trolley is there. The cause of all this sadness and chaos lies beneath that white sheet which is pulled all the way up.

Me.


	3. Chapter 2: People Person

**A/N: Oh my Gosh…wow! I have never had such a response to the first few chapters of a story and I'm just so unbelievably happy. You've made my week! Thank you sooo much for reading/reviewing/alerting/ favouriting! So happy :)**

**Right, so I have decided what I'm going to do concerning Greg's mortality but I am going to keep it a secret ;) for now I have some rather emotional chapters coming your way. I really hope you enjoy I couldn't bear to let you down now!**

**Please review :) xx**

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**Chapter 2: People Person**

"We have to go" Holly says quietly.

"No, no I want to stay and talk to my friends, I want to go home. I want to live" My voice beaks. I can feel the tears but still nothing.

"I know. This is exactly what I was like on my first trip." She puts a comforting arm around my shoulders "But we'll come back I promise, your business is far from done."

"How long before I can come back" I ask looking round at my team mates, my friends…my family. They all look so broken without me and I am broken without them.

"We'll come back for your tagging" Holly says. There is another movement of the wind and we are back in the very white place.

I sit down heavily on the ground pulling my knees into my chest just looking at the ground with a sad expression on my face.

"I know this is an awful shock" Holly says sitting next to me "but you'll get used to it over time. Just wait until you go through those pearly white gates. It's everything you've ever been told."

"I know heaven is supposed to be your own little paradise. But my paradise is being in Vegas with my friends." I say quietly.

"Well, you may have to wait awhile but you'll all be reunited eventually. Like I said, it wasn't supposed to be you…"

"Yeah well like I said; I'd rather it be me than Nick." It's kind of weird because right now I know Nick is thinking the opposite.

"If it makes you feel better, there is someone up there who can't wait to see you soon" Holly said with a small smile.

I think for a while, but then I can't help but smile too "My Papa Olaf?" I ask excitedly "He's here!"

"Of course! He talks a lot about his Hojem." she says giving me a playful nudge in the shoulder. "He's so proud of you, spent his days watching you." I smile at the thought of seeing my only family member who truly loved me again.

We sit in silence for a while. "I'm sorry Holly" I say turning to look at her "you shouldn't have died the way you did. You were going to be a great CSI. I knew it."

"Thanks Greg" she said giving me a small smile. "It's not all bad; I get to be with my parents again. Even though I was shot…dying didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Just like I was sleeping."

I frown "Yeah…me too. Although to be honest I don't remember a lot. I guess I died in that car crash, but I don't even remember how it happened. Kind of Ironik isn't it. I'm a CSI and I didn't get killed at a crime scene, just in a normal accident that could have happened to anyone."

"Yes that is weird" Holly says. All of a sudden she jumps up as if she'd been given a mild electric shock. "Come on, it's time" she says reaching out a hand to help me up. As soon as I take hold of it the wind moves as we are once again transported somewhere else.

"The autopsy room" I say quietly turning around and looking over the gleaming metal surfaces.

The door opens and Doctor Robins walks slowly in with a trolley being pushed behind him by David. The sheet is pulled all the way up and is slightly covered in blood now. Oh God.

"Do I have to watch this?" I ask Holly quietly as David stops the trolley in the middle of the room.

"It gives closure" she explains "don't worry, I'll stay with you" she puts a hand on my shoulder and I give her an appreciative smile.

"I'm sorry Doc…I can't…" David says shakily and leaves the room.

Although David does not see, Doc Robins nods in understanding and then turns to remove the white sheet. My jaw drops at the sight of myself there on the metal slab and I close my eyes in horror.

From what I saw my hair is flat and stuck to the sides as it and my face is caked in blood. My eyes were wide eyed and soulless, like the horror from the crash would always be engraved there. My arms laid limply by my side and my skin no longer had a glow but was white and in some areas blue. I had seen many dead bodies before but none of that mattered when it was your own. This shouldn't be possible.

"Name, Greg Sanders. Age, twenty nine. Date of death, fifth of June two thousand and five. Cause of death, several deep stab wounds caused my glass fragments impacting his skin in a car crash. He bled out." Doc Robins finishes my details and sighs deeply. "I wish I'd got to know you better kid"

"Me too" I whisper as I bring myself to open my eyes and see his sad expression.

I look down at my wrist and see a tag has appeared just like Holly's containing all my information. It has appeared on my left wrist above the silver watch that my Papa Olaf gave me for my eighteenth birthday. He had my name engraved on the back and everything. I never take it off.

"I think that's all we need to see" Holly says obviously noticing my distress.

"Wait, I want to see the others again" I plead with her. She sighs and gives a slight nod of approval.

We make our way out of the autopsy room and walk the halls until I come by a shocking yet touching sight.

In my old DNA lab, all different lab rats, CSI's and police officers have gathered. They had laid the room out with candles and flowers all of which centred on a photo of me on my old desk. At the front stood Mia, Hodges, Archie, Mandy and Bobby. Mandy had an arm around a distraught looking Archie and Bobby rubbed a quietly crying Mia on the back. Hodges just looked shocked.

"I can't believe so many people cared" I say to myself more than Holly. I am so touched, yet sad that I will not be able to talk to any of these people again.

"Of course they did" Holly says with a small smile "you were the guy who was happy all the time and kept them smiling after a double shift."

"Really, because I thought I was the annoying guy who just didn't know when to shut up." I move closer to the glass wall "thank you so much you guys" I say even though they can't hear me. "I'll miss you all." I pull myself away before the feeling of sadness over powers me "My team. Where are they?"

Holly bit her lip nervously "They're at the hospital…Nick…"

"Oh my God of course!" I exclaim "I'm such an idiot, he was in the crash too! What happened to him is he going to be ok?" I_ need_ to be told he's ok.

"Yes, as far as I know his injuries were minor…but I'll take you to the hospital if you want."

"Please, I have to see him!" I say gripping Holly's arm tightly. We appear in a hospital room just moments later.

"Nick!" I exclaim at the sight of him lying still in the bed with his eyes closed. He has a few bumps, bruises and cuts all over his face and arms but nothing looks too serious, I just didn't notice them before because it was dark. "What have you done to yourself eh?" I say with a small smile and go to stroke his hair but curse loudly when I remember I can't.

Suddenly the door opens and I jump off of the bed like I've been caught doing something I shouldn't, but then I once again remember that no one could actually see me. Warrick enters with his arms folded tightly across his chest followed my Grissom looking more exhausted than I'd ever seen him.

"They had to sedate him" Warrick explained looking down at Nick. "He just wouldn't stop shouting and getting into a sate. They worried he'd hurt himself."

"What was he shouting?" Grissom asked also looking down sorrowfully at Nick. Warrick sighed and sat down in a chair next to his friend.

"He kept saying _I did it. I killed Greg_"


	4. Chapter 3: What Hurts the Most

**A/N: Thank you, you guys are absolutely amazing! So many lovely reviews and people reading/ alerting/ favouriting makes me feel amazing :) I'm not really sure about this chapter so please let me know what you think! **

**Shadowchaser56. ****You asked about Holly? She was a CSI who appeared in the pilot episode of CSI who was unfortunately killed at a crime scene on her first day! I always felt really sorry for her and she seemed nice so this is my interpretation of what I thought she'd be like :) **

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 3: What Hurts the Most **

I stand in shock for a moment or two as I try and take this in. I don't understand. Why the hell would Nick blame himself for this? It's not like he purposefully crashed the car into the other guy. It's all his fault not Nick's. I just wish I could remember what happened.

"Where are the girls?" Grissom asks. I'd almost forgotten he and Warrick were in the room as I stared at Nick.

"Catherine had to go home for Lindsey…I'm not sure where Sara is. I just think she needs some time alone right now" Warrick explained.

"We've all had a terrible shock" Grissom said looking at Nick again.

Warrick leaned back in the chair and rubbed his eyes. "Man, I just can't believe it. Sanders was the nicest kid I've ever met. He was a really good friend and I wish I'd told him that"

"You didn't have to" I say to myself "I knew. You were a great friend too, even when you were teasing me" I say with a small smile.

"And I wish I had told him more often what a great job he was doing." Grissom says. I realise then there is something about him that seems genuinely broken. "Nick and I are his next of Kin so it's up to us to arrange the funeral" he explains solemnly.

"What about Greg's parents?" Warrick asks.

"Well…I did some research into their current situation and…"

"I don't think we need to hear about this!" I say quickly and take hold of Holly's arm "Please take me to Catherine." Holly doesn't argue just moves us along in her usual way. We end up at the end of Catherine's street and start to walk towards her house.

"So…what's the deal with your parents?" Holly asks as we walk. I look at her and she stares awkwardly at the floor.

"I don't really want to talk about it…maybe later" I say quietly staying firmly focused on the path ahead. Holly seems to understand and she asks no more questions for which I'm grateful.

We turn off at Catherine's drive and I put my hand on the door handle but it falls through. I look at Holly for help.

"Oh, yeah right!" She says as if she's just remembered "another super cool thing you can do as part of being a spirit." And she walks through the wall.

"O…K" I say slowly and rather hesitantly put one foot through first before fully stepping through. "That felt weird" I say to Holly as I pat myself down.

"You'll get used to it" she says and looks around "I think Catherine's in the lounge…I'll stay here and give you some time alone" I give Holly an appreciative smile and leave in search of Catherine.

I find her in the living room. It's now nearly half past three the day after I died and Catherine is sat on the sofa biting her nails and looking at the clock anxiously. The room is silent apart from the faint tick of the second hand. Her eyes are red and puffy as she'd been crying and her breaths were shaky. I somehow manage to sit down on the coffee table opposite her.

"I would give anything for you to look me in the eye on last time" I whisper. I hear the front door open and Catherine does too as she wipes her eyes and stands up.

"Hey mom!" twelve year old Lindsey calls as she comes home from school.

"Hey sweetie" Catherine says shakily as Lindsey enters and dumps her bag on the floor. Lindsey looks at her mom confused.

"Mom what's wrong?" she says with a confused look coming over to Catherine "You sound sad" she looks closer at her mom's face "Have you been crying?"

"Linds sit down a sec ok" Catherine said sitting down and patting the sofa beside her. Lindsey does so and Catherine takes hold of her hands. "Something really terrible happened at work last night"

"What is it?" Lindsey asks quietly.

"You know Greg who I work with?"

"Yeah of course I do" Lindsey says with a smile "He's so funny! We played this awesome prank on Nick once…He's like the cool cousin I always wanted"

If my heart was beating I'd pretty sure it would just have broken. Lindsey was the sweetest little girl I'd ever met. She was smart beyond her years; it was like talking to an adult. I had no idea she felt like that about me, but If I were to ever have a daughter I'd have wished she'd been like her.

Catherine sighs "Well…Nick and Greg got into a car accident last night and…I'm sorry honey Greg didn't make it" her voice breaks as she finishes the sentence and she begins to cry once more.

"Oh" Lindsey whispers "Mom I'm so sorry" she wraps her arms around Catherine and buries her head into her mom's chest. Catherine clings onto her little girl and sobs. "It'll be ok" Lindsey mumbles "Greg wouldn't want you to be sad." I nod vigorously in agreement " I'll help you mom"

"Thanks honey" Catherine whispers and kisses her daughter on the forehead.

"Lindsey Willows you are so much like your mother" I say even though I cannot be heard "you are both strong and I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. I miss you both already".

"Erm Greg…" Holly suddenly interrupts from the doorway. "We've been here to long and they're starting to get annoyed up there" she says pointing to the sky.

"Ok, ok, but please just take me to Sara for just a few minutes." I beg.

Holly sighs "ok but don't say I never do anything for you" she says taking my hand.

"I could never say that" I reply in a whisper.

We arrive back at the lab outside the interrogation room. Sara is stood there with her arms folded looking through the one way glass. I cautiously approach her and Holly hangs back. Sara has a deep frown on her face and her eyes look in a similar state to Catherine's. There are tear streaks down her face and she has a slight shake.

"Sara" I whisper trying to move a piece of hair out of her face but I of course can't. I turn to see what she's looking at.

Brass is inside with his fists tightly clenched and a look of pure rage on his face. I don't recognise the man slumped in the chair opposite him at first but I soon recognise him to be the driver of the car that hit me and Nick. He's trying to talk to Brass but is slurring so badly I can barely understand him. I jump slightly as Sara suddenly cries out in rage and slams her palm against the glass. She then storms round the corner and shoves the door to the integration room open, me following her.

"You bastard!" she yells storming up to the man and slapping him hard across his left cheek.

"Sara, no!" Brass says grabbing her by the shoulders and dragging her towards the door.

"I hope you rot in hell!" Sara continues to shout at the guy as Brass finally manages to get her from the room and close the door.

"Look Sara I know you're upset but you can't just…"

"I know, I know!" Sara says irritated and storms off down the hall once more.

I follow her to the locker room as she sits down and runs her hands through her hair but only stays sat for a few moments before she gets up and rips my locker door open. She rummages around before pulling out one of my t-shirts, one she bought me for my birthday in fact that I was always fond of.

"How, how could this happen to you" she whispers running the material through her fingers. Tears begin to slip once more. "You were so loved."

"Greg we have to go" Holly says suddenly appearing behind me and grabbing my arm.

"No wait, Sara…" I say trying to break free of Holly's grip.

"I'm sorry" Holly says sincerely as the scene began to fade.

"No…Sara!" I yell at the top of my voice but then she's gone completely.

Back in the lab, Sara Sidle sniffs and raises her head in disbelief as she looks at the spot where it came from.

"Greg?"


	5. Chapter 4: Feelings

**A/N: Hello my lovely's! Thank you so much for reading/ reviewing as usual it made me feel great :) Ok so there are slight undertones of Sandle at the beginning of this chapter but not to worry it's all about Greg and Nick by the end! Hope you likey!**

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 4: Feelings**

"Why did you do that?!" I shout at Holly as we appear in the white place.

"Look I'm sorry" Holly said sincerely putting a hand on my arm and rubbing it "It's not up to me; I'm just following the rules. They worry you'll get too attached and that's not good. If it were up to me I'd have let you stay"

I take a deep breath and rub my eyes. "I know, I'm sorry ,I shouldn't be mad at you." I take her hand from my arm and hold it for a moment "You've been amazing… been keeping me sane!" I say with a light laugh and she smiles a perfect smile. The light from around us streaks through her bouncing curls and illuminates her beautiful deep brown eyes. "You really are my guardian angel aren't you?" I say with a lopsided smile.

She shrugs casually "It's what I do" she says with a grin. "I'll take you back later when Nick wakes up"

"How long will that be?" I ask anxiously as I let go of her hand and we sit on the floor.

"I'm not sure, time is very unpredictable up here. A minute up here could be an hour down there or vice versa." Holly explains.

"Great" I say sulkily crossing my legs and resting my arm on my knee with my chin propped in my palm. We sit in silence for a while when I feel a sudden pain in my chest where my heart is and grip it grimacing in pain.

"What's the matter?" Holly asks concernedly.

"Nothing…" I say rubbing the area in a circular motion " there was this pain in my chest for a split second but it's gone now... It's weird it almost felt like my heart was…"

"Beating?" Holly says going wide eyed in disbelief.

"Well, yeah" I say with a frown wondering how she knew "but that's impossible… right?"

"Not unless…" Holly starts quietly "She heard you!" she exclaims "Sara, she heard you!"

"What? How?" I stutter in disbelief "I mean I did shout pretty loud…but that's just crazy, isn't it?" I want to believe it so badly.

"No, no it can happen!" Holly said happily " but only very, very rarely. You have to have a_ very_ strong bond with the person. Like twins for example"

"Well Sara and Nick were always the people I felt closest too. Sara supported me since she first arrived. I've always loved…" I stop myself and look at the ground, I couldn't bear to think about it "I just never told her" I finish quietly.

"You were in love with her?" Holly asks surprised.

"Well, I was…at first I thought it was just some stupid crush that would go away. But then she turned me down for the first time and it ripped me apart inside. Then I saw the way she was with Grissom…he makes her happy in a way I never could. And that's when I knew we would never be together ."

"But there'll always be that bit deep down inside right?" Holly says with a sigh as she looks at the ground. I simply nod.

An eerie silence falls around us.

Holly eventually raises her head "Nick…he's awake" she says.

"How do you know that?" I ask impressed "and how do you know where everyone is?"

She smiles and taps the side of her noise with her finger to indicate it's a secret. I roll my eyes and smile as I take hold of her hand and we travel down.

"You know, if I was ever to develop super powers I always wanted to be a teleporter" I say to Holly when we land and she laughs. It's a cute laugh.

We walk down the corridor to find Warrick stood outside Nick's room talking to his doctor.

"Mister Stokes is free to go this afternoon. We just have a few checks to run first. All injuries will fade in time." Both Warrick and I sigh in relief. "Nick's been left some food but he won't eat it so I would advise encouraging him to." He instructs.

"Ok I will, thank you Doctor" Warrick says and just as the doctor walks round the corner so does Grissom heading straight for Warrick.

"How's he doing?" Grissom asks.

"Awful" Is all Warrick says. I frown sadly. "I tried talking to him but he won't say a word like he's become mute. He won't eat, he won't go back to sleep. Just lies there staring at the wall."

"He probably just needs some time to except this" Grissom says solemnly "we'll try again later, just give him space for now." Grissom instructs "you should go home and rest" he says looking Warrick up and down.

"No, I can't leave him, not after all this. I'll just go to the cafeteria and get some coffee" Warrick says rubbing his eyes.

"Ok, I'll wait down here" Grissom says. He sits down and pulls out a book whilst Warrick heads off down the hall.

"I'll wait outside too" Holly says to me "I think Nick needs you right now, even if he doesn't know you're there."

"He knows" I say confidently before going to stand in front of the wall. I close my eyes before stepping through.

The sight of Nick before me just devastates me. He's lying on his side with both hands under his pillow. The food sits on the table beside him completely untouched and his face is still ridden with bruising. I move to kneel down in front of him and see his eyes are glazed over with tears. And he too has red eyes and steaks down his cheeks. I feel awful, that's three people now I've made that happen to.

"Nicky?" I whisper at first hoping, praying for a response but of course nothing "I'm so glad you're ok…you don't know how close you were to… I always told myself I'd take a bullet for you and I guess in a way I did. I don't regret it. You probably blame yourself and you shouldn't, you can't, you have to know I'd never let you. I need you to stay strong ok, for Sara and Catherine's sake….for_ my_ sake. You know how much I hate to see you unhappy. I'm so sorry this happened and that I never said goodbye. But like I said I will never _ever_ leave you."

I reach out to but a hand on his shoulder but when I do it falls through. But this time Nick shivers…he felt it…he felt something.

"Nick, you know I'm here!" I say happily "come on, hear me just like Sara did" I try to put my hand on him again, once again It falls but once again he shivers. "You know I'd never stop annoying you even when I was dead" I say with a light laugh. A look to the tray on the side table "Eat something…please?" I try to push the tray towards him but it's no use.

However Nick does look up for a split second. He slowly reaches out a shaky arm and takes a spoonful of some weird oatmeal substance. I'm relieved but this doesn't last long as the next moment he turns round and vomits harshly into the bin.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim sitting beside him "It'll be ok , you'll be ok" I go to rub his back but my hand falls through. "God dammit!" I yell in frustration jumping off of the bed and gripping my hair tightly.

I'm not aware of Nick standing up and heading to the bathroom. He walks right through me catching me off guard and we both make a startled sound. He spins round to look.

"Nick you can feel me…I'm here!" I say frantically waving my arms in front of his face but he just shakes his head and continues into the bathroom. My eyes feel heavy again. Why, why can't I cry!

I follow him to find him splashing water on his face. He grips the sides of the sink tightly and slowly lifts his head to stare into the mirror. I cannot see my own reflection in the mirror and I know Nick can't either.

"Why?" he whispers. It's the first time I've really heard him speak since it happened. His voice sounds hoarse and his breaths are labouring making his voice shake. "Why did it have to be you? Why wasn't it me" A tear slips from his eye "I don't know what I'm going to do without you…I'm so sorry Greggo" and he breaks down again.

"Hey, hey ,no you don't mean that." I say standing beside him. "Don't believe you're responsible for one second, don't ever wish it were the other way. I don't know what I'm going to do without you either..."

I put an arm around his back and rest my head on his shoulder.

…wait a second…

Both Nick and I look up into the mirror. We both go wide eyed. _Both _our reflections stare back.

"Greg!" Nick exclaims.

* * *

**I do love a cliff-hanger me ;) keeps ya guessing**!


	6. Chapter 5: Home Truths

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading/ reviews!. I hope this is an emotional chapter. So, what is the deal with Greg's parents? I do have reasons for doing this :P**

**Please Review :) xx**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Home Truths **

I don't know what happened.

One minute Nick and I were staring at each other in disbelief and the next I'm face down on the ground. I get onto all fours and clutch at my heart with a grimace as it once again gives out painful beats before stopping again.

"Greg!" Someone's muffled voice calls behind me.

"Nick?" I ask hopefully. I turn to find Holly. She drops down beside me and puts a hand on my back.

"Are you ok?" she asks turning my head to face her.

"Yeah…what happened?" I stutter more confused than ever.

"You tell me" Holly says helping me to my feet "I didn't do this, we got pulled back"

"Nick….he saw felt me, he saw me!" I say happily but Holly frowns.

"Then we're in big trouble" she says sternly "it's not allowed to go that far."

"But…it made me feel so happy and I know Nick did too!" I protested "Why are they being so cruel! I just wanted to say goodbye to my brother and make sure he was ok!" I end up shouting by the end. I pace up and down running my hands through my hair trying to keep calm.

"Your brother?" Holly questions. I stop and give her questionable look "you called him your brother" she says with a small smile.

"Well…he is" I mumble slightly embarrassed.

"You guys are really close then. That would explain why he managed to see you. You connected with him. Your heart begins to beat for a short period of time because feelings and emotion just over powers you as well as the person you have the connection with." Holly explains.

"When can I go back? I want to see him again" I ask desperately.

"I don't know if we can" Holly replies slowly.

"Why?!" I asked panicking a little.

"They brought us back because you and Nick were getting too close; they need time for things to calm down." Holly explains. I open my mouth to complain how ridiculous that was but she puts a finger up to silence me "but… I may have another way for you to talk and see them without getting in trouble" she says with a sleek smile.

I smile too "you really are amazing do you know that?"

She grins and flips her hair back behind her head "yes, yes I do" we both laugh.

"So what is it?" I ask eagerly.

"Being able to enter their dreams" she says seductively.

"Is that possible?" I dare myself to ask, it seems too good to be true. Holly nods and I grin "well that's great! When can I start?"

"Whoa clam down Bucko. It's really complicated and it could take me a while to teach you."

"I don't care" I'm too excited. "This could be the only way I can communicate with my friends; I need to talk to them."

"And you will. I'm also working on something else for you." she says with a cheeky smile.

"What's that?" I ask curiously.

"It's a surprise" she says with a lopsided smile and then she claps her hands together "Ok, let's get started..."

* * *

It's been three days up here and Holly has been teaching me all about moving into people's dreams. She'd started off showing me how to 'teleport' like when she takes us to Earth. It took me the first day to learn that because I kept falling over when I landed or ending up in the wrong place but I finally got the hang of it after hours of practice.

Entering dreams is a lot harder. There's a lot of focusing involved which as you know I find very hard sometimes. I have to forget everything around me and concentrate on making myself seem real, even though I'm not, if that makes any sense.

Holly would close her eyes and I would place my hands on the side of her face and try to get into her mind. But I'm having real trouble blocking everything out even though there is nothing around us. You know how my mind tends to wonder.

I still haven't quite grasped it but I'm getting there. Holly says a few more tries and I should nail it, but we have to wait a while in-between tries because it's really exhausting. Turns out even though I'm dead my body still tells me I need to sleep. I could stay awake for two days or two hours depending on the amount of work we'd been doing. Confusing right?

"There's one last bit of your initiation into heaven…" Holly suddenly start's "you gotta go see your funeral" she says regrettably "It's today, it's been like a week down there. It's supposed to represent complete closure. And you'll see all your friends again."

"Yeah, crying over me! I don't want that… but I guess if it gets me in God's good books and guaranties me a place I'll do it." Holly gives me an 'I'm sorry look' before we transport ourselves down separately. Fortunately I end up in the right place.

At first we walk down the long tree boarded track down to the church in silence.

"How are you feeling about seeing your parents again?" Holly asks innocently, but I know she is curious.

"I won't be seeing my parents here" I say bluntly.

"Why not?" Holly presses.

"Well for a start my mom's dead"

"Oh, I'm sorry" Holly says putting a hand on my shoulder.

I scoff. "Don't be. She died from a Heroin overdose when I was sixteen." Holly just looks at me as if she wants me to continue. "My parents never really wanted me. They were still in college when I was born; I was the result of a drunken night out. They were in with the wrong crowd, smoking, drinking, drugs, they failed all their classes. We lived in the really small apartment because they had no money. They would leave me on my own for hours from when I was five, stumble in wasted and sped the evening hitting me and calling me ungrateful whenever I complained they were never home."

"That's awful" Holly says looking genuinely shocked.

"My Papa Olaf was the only person who cared about me. My parents never did anything to my face so he wouldn't see and ask questions. He let me stay with him during holidays and we'd have so much fun, I dreaded going home. He didn't know about my parents abusing me because they'd scared me into not telling. I use to tell the guys that my mom was way too protective of me and wouldn't let me play sports. The real reason is because she didn't want anyone to see the bruises all over my body; I ware long sleeves shirts and jeans all the time."

"I'm so sorry" Holly says.

"My mom took a drug over dose in the bathroom. I came home from school one day to find her just lying there. I didn't even cry. My dad got depressed and beat me worse than ever. He eventually fell of the rails and ended up robbing a bank with a couple of his friends for money. They got caught; he's still in prison now. I never went to see him and I never will. He can rot for all I care."

Holly looks a little intimated by my evil glare. It's very out of character for me. But she doesn't let it faze her for too long.

"Because I was only sixteen they sent me to live with my Papa Olaf…God I was happy. I told him everything and he felt so bad for not noticing. I told him not to feel guilty at all and I was so glad I had him and he loved me. That's why I talked about him so much. They were the best two years of my life…" I pause. The none falling tears pile up again.

"He died when I was eighteen. It was my last year of High school. I had a small job but it wasn't enough to pay the rent for his house… because I was classed old enough to live independently they kicked me out." I laugh humourlessly at the memory "I spent three days living on the street. But then my Papa Olaf's will came through and he left me everything. I sold a lot of things and used all the money and my savings to go to New York and study and then I moved to Vegas and ended up where I am today. I never told any of them about that side of my past."

And that's when I feel it. A single tear rolls down my cheek. I touch the wet patch. "I thought that was impossible" I stutter.

"Greg, just because you're dead it doesn't mean you no longer have emotions and they can't overwhelm you. " Holly says quietly taking hold of my hand "you won't have to be alone again. I'll be here every step of the way. And remember that surprise I'm working on for you"

She smiles her perfect smile. And I smile back. "Thank you" I whisper.

"Come on, you can do this." She says dragging me through the trees.

Here we go.

My funeral.


	7. Chapter 6: The Speech

**A/N: Guten Tag! Thank you so much for reading/ reviews as always they make me smile :) So it's Greg's funeral and things get a bit too much for our poor CSI's. I want to tell you whats going to happen to Greg in the end but I don't want to spoil the surprise XD so I'll say this ,it will be a happy ending ;)**

**Please review :) xx**

**Chapter 6: The Speech**

"Wait" I say firmly stopping in my tracks and dragging Holly back a bit "I don't think I can do this". Rain has started to lightly drizzle around is, it gives a weird tingly feeling as it simply passes through our ghost like figures.

"Yes, you can. You are so strong Greg Sanders. Stronger then you've ever realised." Holly says comfortingly. "I'm not going to lie, it's difficult. When I saw mine I had the exact same doubts, but it helped, I promise."

"I know, but I don't want to see all the pain and suffering I caused. Or maybe I'm just being vain and they'll all just end up dancing on my grave. I was pretty annoying" I mumble.

"I don't think anyone would ever… _could _ever do that to you." Holly says lightly and I give her an appreciative smile.

"Alright, let's do this." I grip Holly's hand tight needing the sense of support and not being alone. The rain is beating down a little harder now and the sky becomes greyer. We step through the walls of the church together. "Oh my god" I whisper at the scene around me.

All my friends sit along the pews in mournful black outfits. Grissom, Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Sara are at the front. None of my relatives are here as I made it quite clear; as far as I'm concerned I have no blood family just the team of CSI's I worked with who were a million times better.

And there I am, centre stage. An open gleaming black casket near the centre of the alter. It looks kind of fancy and over the top, so I guess it suits my personality nicely if it were possible for me to be sick I probably just would have been. They had cladded me in a very nice black fitted suit which made my skin look sheet pale. My eyes were closed so I looked as if I were in a very deep sleep.

I watch in agony as Nick makes his way slowly up to the podium next to the coffin. He looks down at me with sad eyes filled with hurt and anguish.

"Greg Sanders was the little brother that I had always wanted" He starts in a very shaky voice. I find myself subconsciously walking towards him. "We could be feeling the lowest of the low and he would still be able to make us laugh and smile. We all knew Greg for being the hyperactive kid who brightened are days during a double shift. I think of all the times I told him to stop rambling but now I would give anything to hear him speak. But I know what I good listener he was too. He supported me through everything and I can't help but feel that maybe I should have been there for him more…"

"No Nick you were there for me…" I say still slowly walking up to him.

"From the moment Greg first arrived at the lab I knew we were going to be good friends. He was one of the nicest, selfless, kindest guys I've ever known and probably ever will. He never got mad even when he had the right to be and when I vented my frustrations on him he never pushed me away. I will always be grateful for that. He was the kind of guy who was fun to go to bars with and watch sport with, but when it came to something serious he always knew what to say. I think the thing that I regret most was calling him a CSI wannabe…"

"Oh Nick…" I whisper quietly as I watch the tear slip down his cheek and his shaking hands hold the paper in front of him. I had over heard him say call me a 'wannabe' and at the time it had stung. I confronted him about it and he must have apologised about a thousand times and I must have told him about a thousand times I'd forgiven him.

"He was by no means a wannabe. He was the fastest learning Rookie I've ever seen and he worked _so_ hard to get his level one. I wish I had told him more often how proud I was of him. I knew that he was going to become a great level three someday…so good he could probably challenge Griss" he said with a smirk. "He was too young….and I…." his voice completely broke then, as did my none beating heart. "I m-miss him s-so m-much"

He starts to sob then and Catherine jumps up in her black dress and goes and wraps her arms around him. You can always trust Catherine and her motherly instinct to take over. Nick hugs her tightly back and buries his face into the crook of her neck.

The rain outside is violently tapping against the glass windows of the church now.

"Holly….Holly I can't …I can't take this! It's just like killing me all over again!" I stumble back a few passes and spin round "Why are you torturing me like this!" I yell at the top of my voice looking up at the roof with my fists clenched tightly. The rain outside beats down harder, the sky grows darker. "I hate you!" I continue to yell at the top of my lungs "I don't care if it gets me sent to hell but I hate you God for doing this!" There is a low rumble of thunder from outside.

I run up onto the alter and look into my coffin. "You, this is all your stupid fault!" I yell at myself. "Why did you have to go and die you stupid bastard?!" I just look glaring at my still form through gritted teeth absolutely furious. "Don't just lay there you asshole wake up!" I raise one of my fists and bring it down hard on my dead forms body "Wake up!"

But nothing happens. My eyes do not even flicker. I just carry on 'sleeping'. All that happens is there is a bright flash of lightening which illuminates the whole room. The another low rumble of thunder before the door burst open from a surge of wind. Another lightning strike and the rain begins to poor in the harsh gale.

And I have this weird feeling _I_ made all that happen.


	8. Chapter 7: Blame

**A/N: Hey, thank you so much for the amazing reviews! I'm glad you all liked Nick's speech; I wanted to get it right. So here's another chapter. I'm sorry if you don't like the fact its' centring on Nick and Greg at the moment, but I will be bringing to others back into it soon I promise :) **

**Please Review :) xx**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Blame**

"Greg, stop!" Holly says forcefully and pushes me through the wall of the church. She steps through too "you have _got_ to calm down!" she says grabbing my arms and forcing me to look her in the eyes.

"How could they do this!" I exclaim, more thunder erupts around us. I must look like a mad man right now. Maybe I should be thrown in a padded cell. "What the hell would possess them to think I could watch my friends mourn over me and I would be totally fine with it!"

"They don't" Holly says calming herself in order to try and calm me too "they expect you to act like this. I was pissed too."

"I just…I just can't believe all this is happening." I say sinking to the ground , crossing my legs and resting my elbows on my knees burying my head in my hands. "I'm twenty nine years old…" I say looking at Holly as she sits beside me "…I dreamed of having a wife a house and kids. We'd have a boy and a girl. The boy would be older so he could look after his little sister. I'd let my son play sports and I'd treat my daughter like a princess. I like the names Dylan and Rose. We'd have a house away from the city…somewhere peaceful. And we'd have a dog… a Golden Labrador. I'd have the woman of my dreams who I'd never ever want to let go and she'd love me for who I was… we'd have a beautiful wedding on a beach somewhere. It would be paradise "

I suddenly become aware that the storm around us has stopped. The sky is still grey but now only a small drizzle of rain falls.

"I know how you feel. I wanted a man who would take care of me and a penthouse that would overlook the beautiful city skyline. I wanted twin boys…Scott and Mattie."

"But exactly how do you accept the fact that those dreams can't come true. How do you accept the fact that you've left everyone you've ever loved behind to suffer probably a worse fate then you did…God I sound so full of myself" I say with a smirk and a shake of my head.

"Not at all. These people loved you…and as for acceptance…I can't tell how long it will take, but it will happen eventually. Maybe you won't have to accept it…"

I frown in deep confusion and open my mouth to ask what she meant by that but then we hear voices approaching. Holly says 'shush' unnecessarily as the two male voices grow closer. We soon find they belong to Nick and Warrick.

Warrick has his arm wrapped firmly around Nick's shoulders in support because Nick is shaking controllably all over and looks like his legs are going to buckle underneath him at any moment. Nick looks so unbelievably pale and the thinnest I've ever seen him. Warrick looks completely wiped out obviously hating seeing his friend being in so much pain and misery.

"Nick, buddy you have to calm down or you're going to make yourself ill." Warrick says turning Nick to look at him and rubbing his shoulders "I know this is really hard…it's hard on all of us. But you know Greg wouldn't want you to get this upset. He'd want us to be remembering how happy he all made us and to be thinking about the good times"

"It's true Nicky…" I say going and standing behind them "listen to him."

"How, how can I get through this when the guy who made me happy no matter what is dead. Now who is there?" Nick replies "No offence man but you're not exactly the sensitive talk type…"

Warrick smirks "I know, I know. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my best to help you. I miss Greg too you know."

"He wouldn't even be…if I had…." Nick says and I see the tears begin to fall in his eyes again. He tries to wipe them away with his sleeve.

"No Nick don't you dare" Warrick says forcing Nick to look him in the eyes "we have been over this a million times. Greg's death is not. Your. Fault." He says firmly. "Do you really think that Greg would blame you?"

"No" I say strongly "No. Not now not ever." It's weird contributing to a conversation when you can't be seen or heard, but I still feel I have to say it.

"It is, it is my fault, you weren't there, you don't know!" Nick argues, he seems angrier all of a sudden.

"Look I know how you feel ok." Warrick says keeping his patience. "When I found out Holly Gibbs died…" I turn to look at Holly. She's gone wide eyed and her mouth is slightly agape. "I blamed myself to no end…" Warrick continues "I kept running things through in my mind. What if I'd stayed with her? What if I'd called to make sure she was alright? She'd probably still be here. But the one thing Holly told me she was most proud of about herself…was that she could never hold a grudge, because she could neither cause nor live with unhappiness. She couldn't stand to see anyone upset, just like Greg.

"Are you ok?" I ask Holly going back over to her and placing my arm around her shoulders rubbing them lightly. She doesn't speak as she seems a little shocked. I'm a bit stunned myself, but I know every word Warrick said is true.

"But that's what makes me mad. Greg should blame me and he should hate me for eternity, but I know he doesn't. I deserve unhappiness and he would never be able to see that. He comforted me when I was in the hospital…"

Warrick sighs "Nick…"

"No!" Nick exclaims breaking free of Warrick's arm and backing away "Don't you dare tell me again I was only imagining it! I saw him! I could feel his arm wrapped round me and his head rested on my shoulder."

"Nick, you just want to believe you saw Greg because you miss him and you want to see him again so badly. It may even have been an effect from your medication."

"No stop it, I'm not crazy!" Nick says yelling now.

"I would never say you were" Warrick says calmly. He starts to slowly walk towards Nick with his arm slightly outstretched obviously in hope of grabbing him and calming him down.

"You don't say it but I know that's what you think." Nick says as his eyes narrow into a glare "Poor Nick, he's taken this so hard he's gone freakin' insane. Why do none of you believe me, I know what I saw!"

"Hey, come on now man…"

"No, just go away!" Nick yells pointing in the direction he wants Warrick to leave "leave me alone!"

"Nicky please…"

"Go!"

Warrick sighs and for the first time I notice the pure sadness in his eyes that he now not only holds for Nick and I, but Holly too. I know it must have been hard for both of them to think about it all over again. Nick is just breathing heavily know seething with rage. Warrick does not even try to argue probably from fear Nick will do something stupid and hurt himself. He simply sighs helplessly and slopes round the corner. Without warning Holly breaks free of my grip and follows him leaving Nick and I alone.

"I'm not crazy" Nick whispers to himself "I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy." He keeps mumbling this as he sits down on the ground leaning against the wall of the church. He pulls his knees into his chest and bites his nails on his left hand anxiously. Eventually he begins to rock slightly back and forth. "Greggo please" he says looking at the sky. "Please come back little bro. I need to hear your voice and know you're there"

"I'm right here Nicky" I say kneeling down in front of him. I try to put a hand on his knee but for some reason it's not working like before "I'm right here."

And for a split second our eyes lock. But a second is all it takes. I see the pain, the suffering and sadness in his eyes. I see the events of the night I died still etched there as he relives the moment over and over again.

And that's when I know.

That's when I know why I died instead of Nick.

I remember what happened…


	9. Chapter 8: Remembrance

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews you guys I really appreciate it :) So the first part is a flash back to the night of the accident and then the next bit I focus a little on Sara and Nick friendship so I hope you like that :) You guys are the best!**

**Please Review :) xx**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Remembrance**

"Touch that again and I will cuff your hands behind your back" Nick threatens jokingly as I reach for the dial on the radio once more. He slaps my hand away.

"Why" I moan sitting back heavily in my seat "This is so boring. Let me put on some Rock and Roll" I say tapping the dashboard rhythmically with my hands pretending it's a drum.

"Sorry man you know the rules" Nick says with a smirk "my car, my music."

"Oh curse you Nicholas" I say in my best attempt at a British accent.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that…Gregory" he retaliates just as patronizingly.

"Actually, 'cause I'm from Norwegian heritage, Greg is short for Gregorovitch" I say matter of factually.

"Really?"

"No"

We both laugh.

"So what are you thinking about this case then?" I ask curiously as we're driving back to the lab.

"I don't know…I mean the wife's looking pretty good at the moment, but I have a weird feeling her alibi is going to check out and we'll be back to square one" Nick says disappointedly.

"I doubt it. She said she was out getting a pizza from that restaurant with her friend? I know for a fact the said friend is lying for her." I say smugly.

"Oh and how exactly do you know that?" Nick asks raising an eyebrow.

"Elementary my dear Watson" I say tapping the side of my nose secretively.

"More like no shit Sherlock" Nick says teasingly and gives me a quick nudge in the shoulder. We laugh again.

Its pitch black now with only the moon and a few stars in the sky, there are no street lights here. We're on a quiet road back to the city because the house we've been to had been out in the desert. Suddenly, a pair of blazing headlights appears on the opposite side of the road in front of us as a car comes over the hill.

"Urgh, turn them down you jerk" Nick says sounding highly annoyed as he tries to squint through the light "I can't see a thing!"

"Wanna put my shades on?" I offer not very helpfully.

"God, what an idiot" Nick says pulling down the sun visor trying to block out the light.

"What the hell is he doing?" I say squinting too "he looks like he's swerving all over the road. Probably drunk. "I theorized.

"We should do something" Nick says biting his bottom lip thoughtfully. I nod in agreement. We weren't cops, but we did work for the law so we both felt it our responsibility to prevent danger to others. Or in this case even ourselves.

The car grew closer and closer swerving around.

"Watch it Nick" I say a little nervously. I see his hands tighten on the steering wheel out the corner of my eye.

We were going to drive past each other any moment.

Suddenly the car swerves hardly to its left so it ends up directly in front of us on the road.

"Oh my God!" Nick yells and tries to turn out of the way but it was too late.

There is a sicking crash as the fronts of the cars make contact. It's almost like the world around us has slowed down and everything is happening in slow motion. I'm thrown forward with an extremely strong momentum.

_Glass._

There is glass everywhere.

_Nick. _

The big chunks of glass coming from the front window are flying everywhere.

_Got to protect Nick. _

I throw myself sideways blocking Nick from the glass.

_Pain._

Pain all over my body.

"Greg!" Nick breaths as he pulls himself from the air bag which helped keep him safe.

_Glass._

The big chunks of glass from the front window are now stuck in my chest.

I raise my hands to the wounds.

_There was so much blood. _

"Greg, just hang on buddy" I hear Nick say but his voice is so quiet it comes out muffled. He scrambles from the car. My door opens seconds later and he grabs me under my shoulders pulling me outside.

"Nick…" I say quietly closing my eyes.

_There was so much blood._

"I'm here man, I'm not going anywhere I promise" Nick says, his voice is shaking. He calls for an ambulance and starts to apply pressure to my body but there are too many wounds.

_There was so much blood._

"Nick…" I repeat weakly moving my hand and grabbing his wrist. It's covered in that dreaded red substance.

"It's all going to be ok. You'll be fine, helps on the way you'll be fine" Nick says frantically. I can just about make out the tears.

"Hurts…" I say quietly. The pain was getting too much.

"I know, I know but just please hang on G" Nick pleads bringing me in closer to his chest; he was frightened of letting me go. "Please don't give up…" he continues to beg.

"I'm sorry…" I say with my last ounce of strength. "I'm so sorry…"

And then black…

* * *

"That's why I died" I whisper quietly as I look into Nick's eyes once more "I sacrificed myself for you…"

God that sounds so big-headed, but it was true.

"Nick I died for you so you could keep on living. I don't want to have died only for you to be miserable and alone. I want you to carry one and be happy. Make your dreams come true, I know you had them too."

Nick does not react, just sits with his knees pulled up and his arms traipsed across them. He had finally stopped crying, I'm surprised one person can hold so many tears. Just sits silently staring into the distance. I want to go and find Holly and tell her what I remembered, but I could not bear to leave Nick lone now. So I sit down beside him and wait.

I realise how lonely Nick must feel. Sara and Grissom have each other, Catherine has Lindsey and Warrick is more independent. Like Nick said, he's not totally down with the sensitive talk.

"It'll be ok buddy. I promise" I put my hand lightly on his shoulder…and it stays.

Nick slowly turns to look at his shoulder a little shocked. He slowly reaches out his hand and places in cautiously on top of mine.

"Aah!" we both exclaim in surprise and flinch away. Something similar to an electric shock just caused through my body and I think Nick must have had a similar sensation. I clutch at my heart as it once again gives off fast painful beats.

"Nick? Nick where are you?!" A female voice calls. Sara.

"Round here" Nick calls back, barely.

"Thank God" Sara breathed coming round the corner "I was so worried when Warrick came back and you weren't with him" she squats down in front of Nick and places a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"

"No, are you?" Nick replies bluntly.

"Of course not. It was a stupid question" She says with a sigh. I see the colour from her cheeks is no longer there and her eyes are still red, if not redder then they were last time. Her hair falls in perfect waves however, it's like she brings beauty to this depressing place.

"Green?" Nick asks curiously as the wind blows Sara's coat out of the way "You're wearing a green dress?"

Sara gives a small smile. A smile I've missed seeing. "Greg said he always liked it when I wore green. He said it brought out the colour in my eyes."

"Oh yeah because Greg had a _great_ fashion sense" Nick says sarcastically and they both laugh.

"Hey!" I exclaim in mock insult as I can't help but laugh too.

"But for the record…it does" Nick says with a small smile.

"Thanks" Sara smiles back and sits down beside him. Nick puts an arm around her shoulders and she rests her head on his "I miss his goofy smile, I miss his crazy hair, I miss his music bouncing off the walls…I miss his coffee." Sara says closing her eyes.

"Yeah, guess we'll never know where that is" Nick says with a humourless laugh. "Sara…you believe me don't you? When I said I saw Greg…"

Sara lifts her head and they look each other in the eyes "Yes, yes I do… I swear…when I was in the locker room once, I heard him, he called for me…So at least if the others throw us in solitary confinement we can go together." She says with a nudge to Nick's shoulder and he smiles.

"I knew he could never leave us" Nick says quietly. I nod frantically. "He saved me Sara. If it weren't for him... It'd be me in that Grave."

"Well I wish it were neither of you, we all do… but I'm glad you're ok Nick. If I'd have lost both of you…" She stops and sniffs to try and stop the tears from flowing.

"Hey, I'm still here…and Greg would want us to support each other and work through this. So we will, ok?" Nick says reassuringly.

"Yeah, ok" Sara says quietly and they wrap their arms around each other in a tight embrace.

I can't help but smile. I feel like they have made a pretty big break through and I was happy for them. I go to put a hand on Sara's back and rub it slightly, it falls through, but she shivers. She knows I'm here.

"You guys are going to be alright" I say with a confident smile. I stand up and begin to walk away content that they had each other. I stop in my tracks and spin round "I'll see you again soon, promise" I just feel I had to say that.

I run round the church trying to find Holly. I have to tell her what I remembered and that I had made a big decision. I find her leaning up against a tree as she watches Warrick pace up and down. As I grow closer I see the sadness in her eyes and the distress in his.

"He used to do this a lot" she says quietly. She didn't even look round, Just somehow knows I'm here "after I died, he paced a lot. I'd watch him, try to tell him it wasn't his fault but he'd never hear me. Then he started going to the casinos…" Unfortunately I knew all too well about that.

"I know, but it'll be ok." I say putting an arm around her shoulder. "I'll talk to him"

"What do you mean?" She asks giving me a questionable look.

"I'm going into their dreams" I say certainly "…tonight."


	10. Chapter 9: Warrick's Dream

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews/reading you guys! Ok guys so we're into the dream chapters, Yey? ;) So what I'm going to do is give each person's dream its own chapter starting with Warrick's. The chapters going to be told from whoevers dream it is point of view. So this one is from Warrick's point of view because it's his dream. Make sense? Good :P**

**Please Review :)xx**

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**Chapter 9: Warrick's Dream **

I'm walking down the Strip of Las Vegas. The main street with the big casinos, hotels and bars. There is nobody else about and only the dim street lights guide my way. All of the buildings stay in complete darkness, hidden in the shadows. It's weird; I've never seen this part of town so abandoned. It's creepy.

I'm near the end of the street when I hear the faint pounding of music coming from a nearby building. It's quite easy to track down which one as it's the only one with any signs of life coming from inside.

I walk through the big doors of the casino. The bright lights and the sounds of cheering and the money pouring from the slot machines are just inviting me in.

I start to push my way through the crowds of people. Some of them are familiar, like people I've met at cases or people I work with and some I do not recognise at all, just figments of my imagination. I spot a hot blond by the bar. Nicely done imagination.

All the girls wear black floor length dresses and all the guys don black suits. Maybe I imagine this because of the funeral? I look down at myself. It appears I'm the odd one out as I'm still in my work clothes.

I find myself being drawn to the roulette wheel in particular. The light above it shines down the brightest giving it a heavenly like presence and making the black and red patches gleam. It's carefully placed in the centre of the room. And I no longer need to push my way through people, they part for me.

I sit down on one of the red velvet stools and drum my fingers on the table top whilst I wait for the dealer to get ready. He has his back to me. He wears a suit similar to the other males but the jacket is replaced by waistcoat.

"Alright, place your bets!" The dealer calls as he turns round.

I nearly fall off my seat in shock. I can't believe my eyes.

"Greg!" I exclaim.

I can't believe it. The kid we'd all been missing so much over the past week was stood right here in front of me, smiling his goofy smile and his hair as usual is stuck out all over the place yet it still manages to look styled.

He leans forward on the table and folds his arms "You were expecting devil horns and a trident right?" he asks with a smirk.

"No…" I stutter "I mean…I just…" It's just a dream Warrick. Remember that. It's just a dream.

"I know, you finally thought you'd got rid of me" he says with a roll of his eyes. "So what can I get you?" he asks looking at the wheel.

"I…Erm…" I stutter dumbly. I don't think I've ever been so lost for words in my life.

"Warrick…why exactly do you dream of being in a casino?" Greg asks me with probably the most serious look on his face I've ever seen him give.

"You didn't have anything to do with this?" I ask. He shakes his head. "I don't know…I guess I just see them as a way to escape everything else." Kind of a lame excuse "I get stressed and when I find it hard to cope…" I stop finding it too hard to come to terms with.

"Right…do the others know you've started gambling again?" Greg asks me with a concerned look.

I look down at the floor ashamed "No"

"Well…I see more than you think, and I know right now you're playing roulette with yours and Nick's friendship." I sigh deeply and run a hand through my hair. I know he's right. He takes the small white ball out of his pocket and holds it between his finger and thumb. "So what's it going to be? Yours and Nick's friendship in the black? Or pushing everyone away and filling that gap with money and loss in the red?"

God this kid is smarter than I use to think he was. I should have given him more credit. He's right; I have been hard on Nick. Not believing him when he told me he'd seen Greg, and now here I am experiencing it myself. I'm not a very good shoulder to cry on, I know that, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try and be there for my friend. And if I ever lost Nick or any of the others because I started doing stupid things again, well…I just couldn't imagine it.

"I give everything to black" I say quietly.

Greg places the ball in the centre of the wheel and gives it one big spin. Both or eyes are glued to the wheel as we watch the small ball bouncing around in great anticipation. The spinning finally begins to slow and for some reason I find myself holding my breath.

The ball stops along with the wheel.

It's Black.

I sigh in relief.

"You know why it ended up that way?" Greg asks raising an eyebrow "because you willed it to" he whispers. "Just like you have the will power to be strong, but also to be there for your friends"

"Thank you Greg" I say with a light smile "Listen…I never told you but…you're as just as much of a friend to me as Nick is. And I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way at times"

Greg smiles back "Thanks 'Rick…and by the way I promised Holly that I'd tell you to quit blaming yourself for what happened. She's not mad at you one bit."

"Really? You talk to Holly?" I ask, beyond surprise.

"Yeah and she's happy because she's been reunited with her parents, she missed them a lot. So yeah, lighten up" he says with a light laugh. I smile; feeling like something big has been put to rest in my mind once and for all.

"I'm gunna miss having you around kid" I say sincerely "and thanks for the advice"

"No problem. Here…" he takes a silver Quarter out his pocket and flips it up in the air. "Keep this, to remind you." I take it from his hand. "Bye Warrick".

"See you later man" I say and we bump fists before there is a bright flash of light and everything disappears.

* * *

I wake up slowly in my bed. It's still dark outside. I put a hand to my head and then run it down my face. Was that real? It can't have been…could it?

I feel something cold, hard and metal in my other hand. I slowly unwrap my fingers one by one from the object. I simply look at it in shock.

The Quarter.


	11. Chapter 10: Catherine's Dream

**A/N: Hello you amazing people! Thanks for reviewing/reading. I'm glad you're liking my ideas! So Catherine's up next! I hope you enjoy the motherly/son bond! :)**

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 10: Catherine's Dream **

I walk down the halls of the lab with a smile on my face surveying my small bit of kingdom. Ecklie has been fired after it was revealed he'd been stealing money away from the lab and they had made me dayshift supervisor! I'm so pleased. I started my working years dancing in Night Clubs and now here I am head of a team of Forensic Scientists! It's what I've always dreamed of…which I guess is why I'm only dreaming it. Sigh.

I walk passed the break room to find the big screen TV is on. There are a few Lab rats gathered around it as they watch the Showbiz News intently. I take a quick listen in as one of the reporters stands outside the recording studios in LA.

"And Hollywood Star Lindsey Willows has landed her next major movie role in the new thriller…"

I smile broadly. That's _my _daughter. I want to tell the whole world how proud I am of her. That she went to preforming school and became a famous actress, just like she's always dreamed. It seems I share the same dream for her.

I walk into my new favourite room of the lab. _My_ office. My chair and my desk which has my name plaque on it written on in curly gold writing. Dayshift Supervisor: Catherine Willows.

I sit down in my big comfy chair and spin round so I'm facing my desk. I pick up the silver picture frame next to my lily plant and smile. In it is a photo of me, Lindsey and my Husband. I haven't given him a name yet. At the moment he just looks like your typical tall, dark and handsome guy, but I guess anyone is better than my waist of a space Ex-husband. I have a gold shiny ring on my left finger just to make it seem even more real.

"Willows…" I look up to find the Undersheriff stood in the doorway. I stand up. "Your new CSI is here. He's a level three…they say he's one of LA's finest."

"Alright, thank you sir" I say with a smile and sit down as he leaves.

A few moments later I hear a knock on the door and I look up to see the new CSI stood there.

He about six foot tall with a slender frame. He wears a suit jacket and shirt yet his bottom half is completely casual with jeans and converse. He has short brunette hair which is slightly spiked at the front and wears ridiculously oversized sunglasses.

I know who this person is.

"One of LA's finest huh?" I say with a laugh standing up.

"What's so hard to believe about that!?" Greg replies coming towards me "I'm just a freakin' genius"

"Oh sure" I reply with a roll of my eyes but he laughs.

We exchange a hug and I don't want to let him go because I know if I do he will eventually slip away.

I sit back down at my desk folding my arms on the top and Greg sits down opposite.

"So my name is Greg Sanders, I'm twenty nine, I love pizza and I'm much hotter than Nick Stokes" he says leaning back in his chair and I can't help but laugh. I've really missed that over the past few weeks. Greg making me laugh and smile.

"Well you seem totally qualified" I say with a smirk and Greg looks rather smug. "So you barge into my dream and make yourself a top level CSI…"

"No, you did that" he says. I give him a look to signify I don't follow. "You always wanted me to do well Cath, you always believed that I could make it. So this is you, dreaming that I did well."

"Of course I did" I lean across the desk and put my hand on his rubbing it with my thumb. "You were the fastest Lab Rat out there and you were going to be a great CSI too."

"That's because I had such a great mentor" he says with a small smile looking me in the eye. "In fact I wanted you to know…you were more than that…you were my mom."

"Thank you, that means a lot. I always wanted a son like you" I whisper and I feel a tear slip down my cheek "and I know Lindsey would have appreciated having such a super cool brother" I add with a smirk.

"Yeah, she's a great kid. She'll go far" he says with a certain nod if his head. "Thanks for everything Cath" he says and we find ourselves hugging again just seconds later.

"I'm so proud of you Greg" I whisper into his ear. I pull away and hold him at arm's length "I can't believe you were that crazy kid!"

"Oh I still am" he says with his cheeky smile "I definitely keep the people up there on their toes."

"I just can't believe your…I mean the first time we nearly lost you and It was all my fault" I say with a soft shake my voice.

"Cath…" he starts with a deep sigh.

"No Greg" Interrupt because I know what he's going to say. "I blew up your lab because I was stupid and I can never forgive myself for hurting you like that." I look down at the floor as another tear escapes but Greg lifts my head to look at him.

"Catherine, I don't care" he says with a small smile "I was never mad at you, I didn't blame you once. I understood because accidents happen. Besides, if anything you toughened me up a little" he says with a light laugh and I can't help but smile. "Promise me you'll forget about it?" he asks raising an eyebrow.

"Ok. I promise." He smiles but then turns serious all of a sudden.

"Have you guys cleaned out my apartment yet?" he asks.

"Oh, no" I stutter surprised by this seemingly random question.

"Well, when you do go into the chest of draws in my bedroom. Top right, there's something in there for you with your name on it." He explains.

"Ok, gunna tell me what it is?" I ask seductively.

"Erm…no, it's a surprise. Just a little something" he says with a wink. "Listen, I gotta get bouncing. Places to go, people to see."

"Oh" I say feeling a little downhearted; I had been dreading this moment the whole time. "Will I see you again?" I ask hopefully.

"For sure" he replies with a small smile. We find ourselves in each other's arms once more. "Bye Cath"

"By Kiddo"

And just like that I find myself stood alone in my office.

* * *

I wake up with a start.

"Greg!" I blurt out almost automatically but I'm upset when he does not reply.

I prop myself up onto my elbows and sweep my hair out my face; I must have been tossing and turning.

I look at my alarm clock but the light from pushing the button just blinds me so I bury my head face down in the pillow and place my hands underneath. I feel something crumple in my right hand. I pull it out to find a piece of paper. I switch on my bedside light and wait for my eyes to adjust before reading it:

_Remember, Top draw on the right. _

My eyes grow so wide I fear they might fall from their sockets.

It was real?


	12. Chapter 11: Grissom's Dream

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews and thanks to all my readers! So it's Grissoms turn. I tried to keep him in character as much as possible but I found it quite hard and feel he slipped out of it a little at some points so sorry about that. But I hope you enjoy anyway :)**

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 11: Grissom's Dream**

I watch intently as the centipede uses all one hundred of its tiny legs to wriggle its way across the dried up green leaf. It starts munching away on the greenery then so instead I start to admire the different species of butterfly zooming around above my head. Some of them have the most astonishing coloured wings and I just like to watch them zigzag around in the dimly lit light.

This was the Utopia I had made for myself. A large sort of Green house filled with all my favourite species of insects and plants. And of course the pinnacle and my most prized possessions where my arachnids, or spiders if you prefer. I don't understand how so many people can be scared of them; they are really rather gentle creatures. People think I'm strange because of this unusual little hobby but I really don't care. It's not strange to me at all.

I walk around for a bit brushing the leaves from the over growing plants out of my way. It's like being in my own personal jungle. I stop when I spot one of my eight legged creatures forming a new web amongst a damp patch of moss in the corner. I go closer to give it further examination but I have to admit I don't think I've even seen this kind before. It looks like a tarantula but is of a much smaller scale. I don't recognise the markings on its shell and its eight legs are stripped. It clicks its pincers aggressively as it continues to build a home.

"The Spruce-fir moss spider" a male voice states from behind me.

I spin round to see who it was but at first glance there doesn't appear to be anyone. I hitch an eyebrow confused; maybe I am just hearing things with my age…

"Or its Latin name _Microhexura montivaga" _the voice speaks again only this time with an attempt at a terrible Italian accent.

I can't help but smile as I recognise the mischievous tone. "Since when did you know so much about spiders?" I ask with an impressed look.

"Since I probably looked it up online" Greg says breaking through some nearby leaves "you know how much I use to want to impress you."

"Yes I do" I rely with a know-it-all smile "which I never found necessary. I've always thought you're a smart guy, in your own special way of course."

Greg laughs "Thanks boss…I think"

"So what brings you down here?" I ask curious as to exactly how he found this place.

"Well, you did" he replies as if it were obvious. "You welcomed me into your dream and here I am" he says raising his arms and spinning round once on the spot. "It seems you liked me more than I thought."

"Greg, don't ever doubt for a second that I didn't like you" I find myself confessing.

This is very strange for me. Normally I like to keep my emotions under wraps because it's just the way I work and it's what feels comfortable for me. But right now I feel there are some things I have to say and if anything its making me feel a little vulnerable.

"You're part of my team and I care about all of you. I know I didn't tell you enough what a great job you were doing but you were and I was so proud of you. I was already considering giving you level two status." I explain.

"Really?" Greg asks raising his eyebrows in surprise. I give a reassuring nod "Cool" he grins smugly; I have to admit I've missed that look recently. "Remember after the lab explosion…you said that if I ever needed to talk I could come find you."

"Yeah" I reply curious as to what he has to say. I don't think Greg truly understood how serious I was being the first time I said that. I was deeply concerned.

"Well, this is one of those times" he says with an awkward smile.

"Sure, what can I help you with?" I ask encouragingly.

"Actually…it's something I want to help _you _with" he says looking directly at me now. Boy, I don't think I've ever seen this kid look so straight faced.

"Oh, and what's that?" I ask not understanding. I don't like not understanding.

"Sara" is the only thing Greg says and I guess it's the only thing he really needs to. I think I know where this is going. "Look, I know that stuff like this is hard and uncomfortable for you and you probably wish that I'd just shut up and leave you alone, well I mean not that you haven't always wished I'd stop rambling…"

"Greg!" I interrupt "You're doing it now" I can't help but laugh. I think of all the times I've told him to stop talking and get to the point but now I guess I've really missed that.

"Sorry" he says with a lopsided smile "you make me nervous"

"Still?" I ask in disbelief. He looks down at the floor in embarrassment and nods shuffling his feet. "Well you shouldn't be…anyway what is it you want to tell me about Sara?"

"Well rather to ask you than to tell you but…what are you waiting for?" he asks with a serious voice.

"I don't follow" I reply, taken aback by this question.

"Sara is _crazy_ about you" he says as if it's obvious. "Why can't you see that?"

"No…" I say shaking my head "no she's not" but I know I'm just lying to myself to try not to make matters complicated. I know she likes me…and I guess I liked her.

"Yes, she is" Greg says looking me in the eyes. "You know I loved Sara. And why did I finally give up? Because she didn't want to be with me in that way…she wants to be with you. I stepped aside for you." He explains, I see the sadness in his eyes, sadness that is rarely ever seen in a guy like Greg.

"I know you did" I reply quietly "but I guess I'm just…scared." I find myself confessing despite myself. Greg looks at me like he wants me to continue. "Every other relationship I've been in has ended badly because we were just too different. What if it doesn't work out between me and Sara? I can't lose her as a friend."

"You don't think I was worrying about the exact same thing?" he says raising an eyebrow "but I bit the bullet and did it anyway, she must have turned me down like what…five times, but I still tried because I couldn't spend the rest of my life thinking what if…"

"What if she's the one..."I find the words slipping from my lips before I could stop them.

"Exactly" Greg says with a smile and a satisfied nod. "So, asking her out to dinner sometime wouldn't hurt. She likes Italian food just for the record" he says and that mischievous grin appears once more.

"Thank you Greg" I say with a sincere smile "you are wise beyond your years. And in some aspects wiser than me." I mean every word.

"Oh stop your making me blush" he says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Oh and another thing!" he says as if he'd suddenly remembered "you know my coin collection I told you about?"

"How could I forget, it shocked me half to death" I laugh.

"Well it means a lot to me and I want you to have it. I know you'll take good care of it." He says sincerely.

"Sure, of course I will….I really am proud of you Greg." I say with a smile.

"Thanks…see you round Boss" he says and we shake hands, but that's really all we need to do.

Suddenly I find my hand is just gripping the air. He's gone.

* * *

I wake up slowly but surely in my dark bedroom. I'm not sure what just happened but it seemed pretty real to me, and I'm usually pretty good at telling what's real and what's not. I decide I need a drink of water and start fumbling around in the dark for my glasses on my bedside table.

I feel a small card and pick it up also finding my glasses. I put on my glasses and turn on the lamp. It's a business card for a fancy Italian restaurant.

"Greg" I smile.

Normally I don't believe in the super natural. But maybe just this once.


	13. Chapter 12: Sara's Dream

**A/N: Thanks for the awesome reviews and just generally reading you guys, it means so much. Ok so this dream is MEGA cheesy. It sounded sweet in my head but then I wrote It down and I wasn't sure and because It's about Greg and Sara and I feel they have a special bond so I wanted to get it just right :S So please do let me know what you think! **

**Hobbsy3 ****Oh my God what a great song, I love it, very fitting! Never Alone by BarlowGirl check it out peeps! **

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 12: Sara's Dream**

If feel like something out of Cinderella.

The silver Bentley I'm being chauffeured in stops outside the big white mansion. The driver gets out and swiftly walks round the side of the car, opening to door for me. I hitch up my dress slightly and step out in my sleek black stilettos. I would never dream of wearing such shoes for anything other than exceptionally special occasions, which is why I guess I'm dreaming about this ball. I hope I don't fall over; I haven't had much practice walking in them.

I thank the driver and hop my way carefully up the steps to the entrance of the house. There is a butler at the door waiting to take my invitation. I hand over the piece of card with my name Sara Sidle scribbled in gold Italics on the back. The butler lets me in. My imagination has not yet decided whose party this is yet so as far as I'm concerned I'm about to happily enter a complete stranger's house.

I enter the hallway and can here the noise from the hustle and bustle of the next room were the party is being held. I stop for a moment to study my appearance in the full length mirror. My hair is done up in a messy side bun and my eyes are covered with a jewel encrusted black mask, it is a masked ball after all, it kind of makes me look like cat woman. I have very little makeup on, only the essentials; it's just not me to go extravagant. My dress is floor length emerald green, no straps, with a green ribbon and diamantes going around the middle. Hmm. I seem to have been wearing green a lot recently.

I take a deep breath before pushing the huge doors open and walking into the room. It's full of Woman in pretty coloured dresses and men looking smart in suits. I don't recognise anyone but that could just be because of the masks. They are all dancing as a man sits playing away at a grand piano. I spot a bar and make my way over wanting to stay out the centre of attention as usual. I order myself some pink champagne, my favourite drink.

I watch everyone dance for a while sipping at my drink when a man approaches me. I look him up and down. Black brogues, slim legged black trousers a white shirt, a slim black tie and a black fitted jacket with tails. His head is bowed so his face is covered by the shadow from the brim of his black top hat, but I can still see a mischievous smile…it seems familiar.

"May I have this dance?" he asks in a smooth voice…very,_ very_ familiar. I have a hunch but I don't think I dare believe it. It would be too good to be true. He reaches out a black leather gloved hand and I take it.

"You may" I say with a smile and he begins to drag me though the crowds of people until we reach the dance floor, right in the middle, underneath the shimmering crystal chandelier.

It is only then that he lifts his head…and I stare in disbelief.

"Greg" I whisper the name from my lips like it is some kind of forbidden curse.

"You're looking beautiful tonight Sara" he says putting one hand on my waist and taking hold of my hand with the other "not that you don't look like that a hundred per cent of the time" he says with a smirk.

"Always the charmer" I reply but I'm still in shock. We begin to sway slightly in time with the music. The man who I have been missing, the voice that I have been craving, the smile that I have not forgotten. All of it was stood right her, right now, dancing with me as if we had no cares in the world.

"I've missed you Sara Sidle" he says resting his chin on top of my head and I rest my head on his chest. I close my eyes, I never want the moment to end, but I know it is a dream, so eventually it will. I wish I could just sleep forever.

"I've missed you too" I reply in a whisper as tears begin to slip down my cheeks.

"Hey, no more tears, ok?" Greg says wiping them away with his thumb "if there is one thing that I wish to achieve from this, it's making you laugh and be happy."

"But I can't" I reply my voice breaking a little more "I can't be happy without you…you're my little brother Greg. I mean I know I still have Nick and Warrick and I love them I do…but it's just not the same" I confess, it's very rare that I wear my heart on my sleeve.

"But I don't want you to be sad because that makes me sad. You don't want that do you?" he says as I stare into his passion filled eyes.

"So you've already resorted to guilt tripping me?" I ask raising an eyebrow. He gives a sheepish smile and shrugs. "No I don't want that…you know there was a time when I thought it was impossible for you to be sad."

"You only get one shot at life and who wants to spend it moping? So I'm glad I didn't" Greg replies and we remain silently swaying for a while as we basked in the warming music and ambiance. "I hope Grissom realises what he's missing sooner or later…" Greg says breaking the silence a while later.

I don't really know what to say to that. "Greg…all those times you asked me out and I said no. I want you to know it's not because I don't love you, I do love you but as a little brother and I couldn't put that at risk. I know it hurt you and I'm sorry, but if I'd have said yes, I would have ended up hurting you a lot worse. And I just couldn't do that."

"I know…I understand. Besides, since I've been gone I've kind of fallen for someone else…she just doesn't know it yet" he admits.

"Really? You actually got yourself an angel" I say in shock. All that stuff I wondered about being real after you die as a kid and her I am learning the truth.

"Come on I have something to show you" he says with a wide grin and he once again begins to drag me though the crowd.

He takes me to the grand piano and dismisses the man already playing after he finishes his song. He leaves and Greg sits down on the stool, he pats the spot beside him and I sit down too.

"My secret talent" he says with a wink and begins to play the most beautiful melody as his fingers press down gently on the keys.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I ask with a light smile as I watch his fingers move rhythmically up and down the keys.

"I don't know. I just didn't feel confident about it and playing the piano is Warrick's thing" he says with a shrug. "I have one in my apartment, smaller scale of course. My singing on the other hand…not so good. That is strictly reserved for in the shower only." And I laugh. I laugh properly for the first time since he died. "See there ya go!" Greg says laughing too. He starts to play something more upbeat in celebration.

"Wow you're incredible!" I say smiling all the while.

"Why thank you ma'am" He says in an accent that reminds me a lot of Nick.

He used to do impressions of Nick all the time and it made me laugh to no end. Poor Nick, I wish I could do more to help him. I've hating seeing him so broken the past few days. Maybe Greg will visit him too and then he'll feel better.

Greg stops playing his last song and turns to look at me taking hold of both my hands. Our eyes lock and I feel more complete then I have in a long time.

"I have to go" he says in a regrettable tone. All the happiness I previously felt is washed away.

I fling my arms around his neck "Promise you won't ever forget me" I whisper fearfully.

"How could I ever forget you? I promise" he says kissing me lightly on the top of the head and I kiss him on the cheek.

"I love you Greg" I say as a tear rolls down my cheek and I bury my head in his chest.

"I love you too…sis" he says and just like that, he's gone.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of silence. No more music, no more people dancing and talking. Just me alone in my bedroom. I sit upright sniffing and reach to turn on the bedside lamp. I get up and go sit at my desk looking in the mirror. I have streak marks on my cheeks from crying in my sleep.

Suddenly I hear a high pitched tinkling noise coming from the bottom drawer. Furrowing my brown in confusion I cautiously reach down and open the drawer.

I don't believe it…

It's a jewellery box with a female figurine spinning around to the music. She wears the same outfit as I did in the dream. And the song…the song.

It was the song Greg played for me in the dream.

I laugh with joy.


	14. Chapter 13: Nick's Nightmare: Part 1

**A/N: I am back! So sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been away. Thank you so much for reviewing and reading, I am extremely grateful as always. Now it's poor Nick's turn and his dream isn't going to go as smoothly as the others. Hope this isn't too confusing :S and I've decided to split it into two, so here is part one! **

**Please Review :) xx**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Nick's Nightmare: Part 1**

This is the first time I have properly slept since…you know what. I don't think I made it to bed though, I think I'm on the sofa. I was probably crying…again. I've never felt more weak and wimpy than I have recently.

It's weird; having a dream yet being aware it's just that, a dream. Except, I am pretty sure that this is no dream…it's a nightmare.

The darkness fades and I find myself stood in my living room, of that I'm sure, but everything about it is so wrong. The walls are all dark and faded with wallpaper strips looking like they've been clawed at aggressively. The lights keep flickering, dim one moment, bright the next. The coffee table it turned over, the mirror and TV smashed. The sofa and arm chair are ripped to shreds, pillows and stuffing everywhere. The books from the bookshelf are also ripped to shreds, paper everywhere.

I walk around the room in disbelief, my feet making slight crunching noises as I step across the many shards of glass. What the hell happened here?

I step on something else, the back of a photo frame. I bend down and pick it up, I find myself having to hold back the tears when a picture of Greg and I stares back. I dust the rest of the glass fragments out of the way and pull out the photo. I remember the moment it was taken as if it happened yesterday. The memory replays like I'm living it again.

It was after Greg got promoted. He, Warrick and I decided to go down to the lake with a box of beers to celebrate. We'd had a few beers when I suggested to Warrick it would be funny to throw Greg in the lake, sort of like a final initiation…so we did. Man, I thought Greg would be pissed but he just laughed, I should of known he would, Greg is…was, never pissed. God I hate the past tense now.

Anyway in revenge he ran up behind me when I wasn't expecting it and hugged me so I ended up soaking wet too. I was so shocked, and we were so cold. Unfortunately Warrick took the picture at that exact moment with you clinging to my back and me trying to shake you off. But we're laughing. I'll never forget it, that's the important thing. I still can't believe he's gone. I fold the picture in half and put it in my pocket.

Suddenly, I hear smashes coming from the kitchen. I tense a little wondering what it could be. I grab hold of my gun, suddenly aware of its presence at my side, like it had just appeared out of nowhere, which I guess is conventional for dreams. I wrap my hand firmly round the handle and slip one finger onto the trigger. Shaking now, I make my way towards the continuous stream of smashing.

The door is closed as I reach it, the smashes getting louder. I cautiously reach out one hand and push the door gently with my fingertips. It begins to open with a slow, whining creek. The smashing stops. Everything goes dark and I realise it's because I've closed my eyes in fear in the dream.

When I open them again I have to lean back against the wall for support as I feel my knees might buckle from underneath me with shock.

Greg is stood before me. Except…he's not himself.

He wears the clothes I last saw him in before…you know what. His hair is not styled like normal but flat, in fact it looks kind of messy, definitely not Greg. His skin is so pale it's almost white, but his eyes, his eyes are what terrify me the most.

They're no longer deep brown but a cold, blood red. They are soulless as he refuses to blink and I see the pure hatred as he stares at me. The red burns like fire, and the fire burns me. His gaze suddenly darts down to the gun in my hand and they narrow in anger.

"Come to kill me again have you!" Greg says through clenched teeth. His voice is a lot lower, it doesn't belong to him.

"N-no…" I stutter throwing the gun on the floor "G-Greg I would never…" but I find myself having to duck as he cries out in rage and throws a mug at my head, it shatters on the wall behind me. He's smashed everything else, and I assume he's responsible for the mess in the living room too.

"Don't you lie to me!" Greg yells, he still does not blink. "I warned you, I told you to be careful!"

"Greg please I'm so sorry" I beg pushing myself off the wall and trying to get closer to him. "You'll never understand how sorry I am."

"Sorry?" he whispers in disbelief "Sorry is not going to bring me back!" he yells again. This time I find myself on the floor as his fist makes contact with my jaw. I know it is just a dream yet I still feel the pain. I feel the hate and anguish.

"I know, I know it's all my fault" I say sobbing now. "I haven't stopped blaming myself for one second. I wish with all my heart it had been me instead of you. I miss you so much G…"

"Don't you _ever!..." _he starts leaning down so he's right in my face "… call me G again"

"But that's what I call you" I whisper pathetically "because we're like brothers and I love you." I mean it with all my being.

"Brothers do not kill one another" Greg whispers so quietly and so sadistically for the first time I am scared of him, more scared then I ever have been of anyone. "And let me tell you this Nick Stokes, let it haunt you for the rest of your life…I. Hate. You"

My heart shatters and the world crashes around me.

He pulls his fist back ready for another hit but then…

"No!" someone cries grabbing Greg by the shoulders and throwing him back. Greg crashes against the table and it breaks in half. "Stay away from him" the voice says. Wait a second…that voice…

For a moment I think I must have blacked out as I seem to be seeing double. _Two _Greg's now stand before me. Evil Greg, as I shall now dub him, is still on the floor in shock after being attacked by who I can only assume is good Greg. Good Greg looks just as he did when he was alive, hair styled perfectly and I see his eyes are that deep brown I have missed so much as he comes to help me stand up.

"Greg" I whisper in disbelief to normal Greg. He smiles, Oh God how I have missed that smile.

"What are you doing!" evil Greg yells as he picks himself up off the ground. "He killed us!...you"

"No he didn't" good Greg protests firmly "it was an accident, I don't blame him at all, not one tiny bit."

"You're lying!" Red eyed Greg yells "you're just trying to make him feel better, you just don't realise…"

"Oh I realise alright…" Brown eyed Greg replies going closer towards his double "I realise how ugly I look when being a jackass!"

I'm not sure what happened next. Evil Greg lunges forward and pushes good Greg back. I expect him to crash into the refrigerator but instead he goes flying through the wall. I'm frozen to the spot as I look on is disbelief. Good Greg remerges through the wall.

"God I can be a real ass sometimes" he breaths and evil Greg takes a swing at him but his fist just goes right through.

"How are you doing that!" he yells in frustration. Good Greg just smirks happily.

"Stop!" I find the word slipping though my lips before I'm even aware of it myself. "I agree with him" I say. They both look at me with a raised eyebrow, God this is so messed up "I mean…I agree with red eyed you." Evil Greg's face lights up in delight whilst normal Greg's falls.

"No Nick please you can't listen to him!" The Greg I know pleads "Of course I don't blame you. I miss you, I still love you like a brother…I'm still G" He comes and stands in front of me, grabbing hold of my arms. His eyes look heavy and sad.

"Well you should and you shouldn't" I whisper breaking free of his grip "I have caused so much pain and misery. I have stopped you're dreams from coming true, your chance of happiness. And it kills me inside. Not seeing or hearing you everyday kills me. I could say I'm sorry a million times, but I'll never believe you forgive me." The tears are falling from both our eyes now.

"Come with me Nick…" Evil Greg says holding out his hand to me.

"No Nick please don't say that please don't think like that…" Good Greg begs me trying to grab hold of me again but I've already walked away. "Nick please don't push me out!" he yells after me. I turn to look at him one last time only to see him fading from my dream. "Nick!" he calls again, but then he is truly gone.

"Come on…" Red eyed Greg say's as I take hold of his hand. "I have something for you."

I go with him without a fight. No doubt whatever it is will cause me great pain, fear and sadness. But I don't care. I feel I deserve it.


	15. Chapter 14: Nick's Nightmare: Part 2

**A/N: Ola! Thank you sooo much for reviewing/ following/ reading it makes me one happy Pixie :) Hehe, I was creeping **_**myself**_** out a little whilst writing this part, it's pretty dark! I'm glad you like the Good Greg vs. Evil Greg concept. God I'm being so mean to Poor Nick XD but I'll make it up to him I promise ;)**

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 14: Nick's Nightmare: Part 2**

_**Greg's POV…**_

"Nick!" I call again. Now back in reality, I fall back with a harsh thud onto the floor.

Nick's still lying on the sofa, tossing and turning, mumbling to himself. His breathing is heavy and laboured and he's sweating, his hair sticking to his forehead. Every now and again his whole body convulses and I panic thinking he's having some kind of seizure.

"Nick come on" I say almost pleadingly as I scramble to my feet.

I got to put my hands on the side of his face but I flinch away in shock when something that feels like electricity surges through me, like when we touched back at the church. I sigh deeply and shake my hands a little as I psych myself up. It may hurt but I've got to get back into Nick's head and tell him it's alright or at least wake him up. God knows what my evil doppelganger is doing to him. It's weird seeing that dark side of me that I kept so well hidden, except it's not really me because I would never say those things to Nick.

"Let me back in Nicky" I plead my fingers just centimetres from his temples. "You don't deserve anymore pain" my hands make contact with his head one more time and it hurts like hell. My body screams form me to let go but my mind is willing me keeping going. I close my eyes and try to concentrate.

The rest is up to Nick.

* * *

_**Nick's POV…**_

Red eyed Greg grips onto my arm tightly as he drags me out into my back yard, he's obviously worried I'll try and make a run for it, not a good sign.

"You did the right thing back there Stokes" he says as we reach the tree at the end of my garden. I flinch; Greg never calls me by my last name. "But that still doesn't mean I can forgive you."

"I don't expect you to" I reply with no expression in my voice at all, it's like I'm the one who's dead. I might as well be; I haven't felt any positive emotion in days. Just like I am a hollow shell of my former self, when Greg died a part of me died with him.

"Yes well, you know I was never a very revengeful person…" he says narrowing his eyes once more, the red once again piercing into me like lasers.

"Yes I know that" I reply bluntly, _But you're not my Greggo _I think to myself.

I'm really starting to regret this now. I thought I was doing the best thing to battle my guilty conscious, but I'm too blinded by depression to see the _real _Greg would never get mad at me and I had potentially just pushes the Greg I know and love away, just like I always do…God I really am a shit friend. Maybe I do deserve whatever's coming.

"Well now seems a good a time as any to change that" he says with a smirk, but not the smirk I'd expect to come from Greg like after he'd made a joke, but an evil smirk that shook me to the very core. "A few months ago you were buried alive…" he starts pacing slowly up and down in front of me. Why would he bring that up? He knows it upsets me…well, _Greg _knows. "He was scared for you, they all were" presumably _he_ is good Greg, the Greg I wish were here right now. Why did I have to be such a jerk and send him away?

"He didn't sleep, he refused to go home. He felt so useless because only being a level one they didn't trust him not to mess up. But still he kept on fighting for you, I am the part of him that tried and tried to tell him you weren't worth it. Did you come and see us after the explosion? No. Did you try and console us when Sara turned us down? No. So why the hell should we do anything for you?" he's right up in my face again now.

"I know, I know I should have made sure you were alright more often. Told you how much of a good friend you really are to me…I know nothing I can say or do will ever put that right" I feel like I'm on trial all these confessions spilling out of me.

"You should have died" he says stepping back a little and looking at me in slight disgust "It would have been better for us if you'd have just…died." I wish I could argue but I feel guilty for living. Why should I make It out an ordeal and Greg not? He turns as if he can't bear to look at me anymore and sighs deeply. "But then again… I guess second time's the charm." I open my mouth to ask what the hell he's talking about but he grabs me and pulls me round the other side of the tree.

Gravestones. Two Gravestones stand there. One reads Greg Sanders the other…Nick Stokes.

"I died for you" he whispers in my ear "So I think it's about time you do the same." My whole body stiffens in fear so I can't try and run. He throws me into the six foot deep whole and laughs sadistically whilst he does it.

"No please let me out!" I cry out in absolute fear. This can't be happening, this can't be happening, not again! Lack of air, walls closing in. "No Greg please!" I yell sobbing now.

"Aww what's wrong Nicky you scared?" he taunts as he looks down at me. "Well how do you think I felt in that car!?" Suddenly he starts breathing heavily. Patches of blood start to appear in the places where he received wounds in the crash. They grew bigger and bigger. "Look what you did…" he says quietly touching at the blood. "Look what you did…" he looks straight at me then. His eyes have changed again.

They are no longer red but just plain black orbs at first glance it looked like he didn't have eyes at all but the moonlight glinting off them confirmed otherwise.

"How could you do this to me?" he asks his voice breaking now and I think he's going to cry "You were my friend…you were my brother" and the tears start.

But it's not tears.

It's blood.

Thick red blood falls from the black orbs and I have never been so terrified in my life.

_For God sake Nick wake up, wake up! _ I plead with myself but I can't rip my eyes away from Greg's, I'm just drawn to them. He wipes at the 'tears' so he ends up with blood smeared all over his face before he moves from sight.

"Nighty, night Nick" he says quietly and all of a sudden I am plunged into complete darkness as he puts a lid on the coffin.

I scream.

* * *

_**Greg's POV…**_

_What the hell is he doing to you? _

Nick's thrashing about more violently than ever now. His breathing gets heavier as his chest bobs up and down more rapidly. Oh God he's going to go into cardiac arrest soon if I don't calm him down. He's still blocking me out and it's breaking my heart to see him this way and knowing there is little I can do.

Suddenly, Nick screams. It's so loud and unexpected I fall back off the sofa. I can't take this anymore I have to wake him up somehow.

"Nick I know you can hear me" I say crouching down beside him "You've always been able to hear me. I need you to wake up ok. It's just a horrible dream with someone pretending to be me. You know I would _never _say those things to you because you're my brother and I love you. So please wake up" I go to hold his hand and he lets me, he feels me. "Nick, _please_ wake up" I beg.

His eyes shoot open and they are immediately filled with fear.

* * *

_**Nick's POV…**_

I hear him calling for me. Good Greg not the evil one. So I force myself to open my eyes.

I inhale deeply when I see Greg staring back at me. His eyes…his eyes are brown. I am actually looking at _Greg_. He smiles in relief. I blink…he's gone. It must just have been a moment of madness.

I sit up slowly and grip the edges of the sofa, my eyes wide as I look around. Normal. Everything is back to normal. Although I doubt after a dream like that nothing will ever be normal ever again and I definitely will not sleep.

I stand up and look in the mirror I'm so sweaty and pale. I can't come to terms with what just happened. It seemed so real. I feel something in my jean pocket and pull it out. The photo? How the hell…

No longer do I feel joy when looking at it but rage, rage as the Greg I know see is the one who tried to bury me alive. I cry out in anger and rip the photo into pieces.

"Has it ever occurred to you it's your own fault!" I yell up at the ceiling "I know what you did, I didn't ask you to throw yourself in front of me!" I punch the mirror ignoring the pain that explodes in my hand afterwards. "How could you leave me you bastard!" And I crumble. I sink down onto the floor and cry. I didn't think it were possible to have so many tears but I manage. Maybe I truly am going insane.

"I'm sorry" I mumble quietly a while later picking up the pieces of the ripped up photo. "Greg I didn't mean that I'm so, so sorry." I drag myself over to the sofa and lean against it remaining seated on the floor. I stare at the fireplace, I see the fire.

Just like I saw the fire in Greg's eyes.


	16. Chapter 15: Aftermath

**A/N: Alright humans! Thank you as always for the lovely reviews and just reading In general :) This chapter it's the morning after the dreams and the guys all put Greg's messages into action. We're getting near the end now :'( but don't worry I still have a couple more things up my sleeve ;) **

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 15: Aftermath **

**Warrick's POV…**

Today we're all going round to Greg's place to clean it out. God this is going to be hard. I suggested Nick and Sara stay home but they were both determined they wanted to help.

I'm still reeling from the dream and I feel kind of guilty for what I said to Nick about him seeing things because Greg definitely seemed real to me last night. I'll make it up to him somehow. But what's really got me thinking, and what kind of creeps me out is the Quarter. How the hell did I wake up with the Quarter? It was just dream…wasn't it?

I have it my coat pocket as I walk to Greg's apartment block. I've been rubbing it with my thumb for the past ten minutes so it's really warm. Occasionally I take it out and hold it up to my face just to make sure it is real, I've concluded it is.

I'm walking passed a row of casinos when I pull the coin out of my pocket again. I stop outside the door of one and look at the coin glinting in the sunlight. I look into the casino and see the slot machine sat waiting for me. I look down at the coin then back at the machine.

"No" I whisper to myself gripping the coin tight in my hand. There is a hobo sat nearby the door "Here" I say approaching him "you need it more than I do." He smiles in thanks as I flip the coin over to him.

And I walk away.

* * *

**Catherine's POV: **

I am the first one to brave going in Greg's bedroom. His hair products all over the bedside table, bed sheets thrown everywhere as he'd clearly not made it the morning before… It's hard to think he'll never sleep in it again.

He has a Green Day poster on the wall too, a band I only know of because he and Lindsey would talk about them obsessively. I open his wardrobe; I've always wanted to see what it's like in here. On the right are all his work suits but I smile when I see on the left he's kept all the crazy tee-shirts he use to wear when he was a lab rat. I think I'll take one, just for memories.

I finally make my way over to the chest of drawers Greg told me about. _Top drawer on the right _I remember. I open the draw to find an envelope with my name on it on top of a pile of old music magazines. I reach for the envelope rather cautiously expecting it to be an old letter or poster or something but I'm surprised to find a card.

A Mother's day card.

It has a cute little teddy bear on the front sat with a bunch of red roses. I think Greg must have made some kind of mistake but I read it just to make sure.

_Dear Catherine, _

_I doubt I'll ever give this to you because let's face it it's kind of awkward but I just wanted you to know that you are the closest thing to a mom I have ever had. My real mom was a complete wreck but you've always been there for me and supported me in everything you do. You're protective of me and you stick up for me when Nick and Warrick pick on me! I just can't say thank you enough. I hope me seeing you as my mom is cool but…it's true and I love you._

_Greg x _

I smile as a tear drops from my eye and onto the card. I can't believe he did this… I hold the card close to my chest.

"I love you too son" I whisper.

* * *

_**Grissom's POV…**_

I marvel at Greg's coin collection which I found in one of the kitchen cabinets. He is probably the last person on Earth I expected to have one but I guess I shouldn't have judged him so much; he was a good kid and a hard worker, despite his hyperactively.

I don't know much about coins but I can see Greg clearly did and he has them all organised neatly in this little box, it's obvious he's very proud of them. I make a silent vow that I will take good care of them.

Sara enters a few moments later and I smile at her in greeting. She smiles back but it seems pretty fake as all her other features suggest she's worn out and the redness around her eyes has only just started to go down. I think about what Greg told me in the dream.

"How you getting on today?" I ask leaning against the counter top. I think she's a little shocked as it's very rare I want to discuss emotions.

"Erm…ok I guess" she says folding her arms and leaning on the counter opposite me "all things considering…" she mumbles.

"Sara I know you've been having trouble letting everything out in the open so…so let's have dinner tonight, just me and you so we can talk properly."

She looks a little taken aback "you really want to do that?" she asks as if I'm just pulling her leg.

"Of course" I say with a genuine smile, I'm relieved when she smiles back.

"Ok then, we'll sort it later I'm going to help Warrick in the lounge" she says and goes out.

I let out a deep sigh of relief and look back at the coins admiring them some more "I never knew you could be a man of such wisdom Greg" I say with a smile.

* * *

_**Sara's POV... **_

I'm more than slightly surprised by Grissom's offer of dinner but I gladly expected the company and besides, who knows where it might lead…

I find Warrick rummaging around Greg's DVD collection and laughing now and again at the movies he found. I thought back to what Greg said yesterday about having a piano, I'm anxious to find it. I walk over to what I always assumed to be a desk in the corner but I guess it could be a very well-disguised small scale piano. I try lifting the top up and smile in delight at the sight of the black and white keys.

"Hey Warrick check this out!" I call over excitedly and he comes to take a look.

"Whoa" he says looking slightly shocked as he sits down on the stool "I had no idea Greg could play classical music, or that he even knew what classical music was"

I laugh and spot some sheets of paper on the floor. They all have musical notes written on them that I don't understand. One sheet is only half finished.

"Looks like Greg was working on something." I say handing Warrick the sheet "Do you think you could play it?" I ask hopefully.

"Sure I'll give it a go" Warrick says carefully placing the sheet in front of him. He picks up the notes straight away and I smile as I instantly recognise the tune. It's the song Greg played for me in the dream. I could just listen to it forever.

"Wow, this is really good" Warrick says after finishing the piece "I wish I'd known about this, we could have practiced together."

"Yeah it's amazing…he's amazing" I say with a light laugh.

"Look he's given it a title" Warrick points out at the top of the sheet. "_Derideas" _He reads out.

"That's Latin for smile" I say.

So I do.

* * *

_**Nick's POV…**_

I still feel really shaken up from last night. I don't know what the hell happened, if I finally had gone insane or of Greg was actually there in my living room, all I know is it definitely felt real.

I'm in the bedroom now with Catherine not trusting myself to be alone. I dare to look under Greg's bed half expecting some monster to attack me or see something I really shouldn't but instead I just find a box of electrical supplies. I pull it out and have a rummage around. I pull out Greg's camcorder, I recognise it because he brought it to the lab once when he first got it and we made a video when we had nothing to do…I wonder if…

I sit crossed legged on the floor and turn on the recorder before searching through all the video until I find the one I want. With a shaky thumb I press play.

"_Ok are you recording?" _Greg asks as he looks into the lens.

"_Yeah, yeah pretty sure red light means on" _I reply from behind the camera.

"_Alright so welcome to another episode of total dare with you hosts me and him" _Greg says with a smile and then I turn the camera round and wave at it before turning back to Greg._ "Ok so this week it's my turn and it's fair to say Nick has gone way too far with this one…"_

"_Way to far!" _I protest off screen_ "you had me walk past Sara and slap her on the ass that's way too far!" _I laugh.

"_You didn't have too!" _Greg protests_ "anyways today we are in Hodges lab and Nicholas here has dared me to declare my undying love to him" _he says with a roll of his eyes_. "Ok quick here he comes, you go hide…" _he says waving me away and there's some movement as I duck down behind the door to watch.

"_Hey Greg what do you want?" _Hodges asks.

"_Hey it's actually something I need to tell you…" _Greg says putting on a dead serious face._ "You see recently I've been having these feelings, feelings I've been finding hard to describe…" _there's some slight snickering noises from me in the back ground, Hodge's looks petrified._ "I think…I think I'm in love with you H" _Greg says with meaning in his voice as he grabs hold of one of Hodge's hands.

Hodge's mouth moves in disbelief but no words come out. I can't contain my laughter anymore and neither can Greg.

"_What the hell is going on?" _Hodge's says angrily coming over to my hiding place_ "Nick? Are you recording this!?"_

"_Run!" _I shout and the camera jostles up and down as Greg and I make a break for the hallway._ "Dude that was awesome you totally deserve an Oscar" _I say as soon as we stop running and high five.

"_Thank you, thank you" _Greg says bowing._ "Make sure to tune in next week…"_

"_Yeah you'll probably have me tightrope walking or something" _I say with a chuckle.

"_You know me so well" _Greg says and we both laugh before the recording stops.

"What's so funny?" Catherine asks bringing me back to reality.

"What, what do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Just then, you were laughing you're head off" she says with a smile.

I furrow my brow in confusion. "I was?" I haven't laughed since the day Greg died, hadn't truly smiled. Was it possible for me to be laughing out loud? I look back down at the video and the whole thing replays in my mind again and… I laugh. I laugh for the first time in ages.

"I was"


	17. Chapter 16: Do You Dare

**A/N: Heyy! Oh My God you guys are the best did you know that? Such great reviews and I know I have many fabulous readers so thank you! We're back to Greg's POV now and it's the second to last chapter! Good or bad thing? ;) Anyways I'm not going to say much about this chapter just that I hope it's what you wanted, because I know it's what I want! **

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 16: Do You Dare **

After Nick woke up I decided to make a quick retreat back up to the clouds as I didn't want to freak him out any further. Then I just sat on the edge and waited for everyone to wake up properly the next morning. It took days up here but probably only hours down there.

I saw it all. All up on my little cloud. I don't think I've smiled so much since I first arrived up here and even though there are tears welling in my eyes once more, they are no longer of sadness but of joy. I am so proud of each and every one of my friends and how far they have come. They all took my messages on board and accepted them, but I think I am most pleased for Nick overcoming his fear and seeing the world isn't as bleak as he thought it was because there will _always _be memories to keep friendships alive.

And I finally feel at peace. I finally feel like that the business Holly told me about was done. Warrick realised friendship always comes first, Catherine understands what she really means to me, Grissom realised just exactly what he has, Sara knows how I truly felt about her and Nick…Nick laughed and it was the most wonderful sound after days of pain and misery.

As for me, I'm finally getting this feeling of acceptance. I guess it's not all bad up here, I like my little cloud and I saw my Papa Olaf for the first time in eleven years. He looked exactly like I remembered him. I ran to him and hugged him tight. He called me 'Hojem', I really missed that name. He said how sad he was that we had to meet again so soon though and he'd hoped I'd lead a long happy life, I explained even though my life was not that long, the best part of it with him and in Vegas was happy.

You know come to think of it I haven't seen Holly in days, well what I assume has been days I still haven't quite grasped the concept of time up here yet. Yeah, I haven't seen her since after the funeral and I still never got to ask her what exactly my 'surprise' was that she's working on. That means I also haven't had the chance to tell her how I feel… that girl I told Sara I'd fallen for? Yeah…

I guess it's just that she's helped me so much, if it weren't for Holly I would have sat and cried for days, turned insane, but she's talked me through it and the fact she's been through it all herself helps. I wish she'd have lived and I could have gotten to know her more…but I feel I've gotten to know her to pretty well up here. The way she smiles and holds my hand when I'm having a hard time, it makes me feel more at ease and helps me forget how strange and upsetting this is. She's a great comforter and we've shard stuff we've never shared with others before…she really is my guardian angel.

"I was just thinking about you" I say with a smile as someone lands in the clouds behind me. I know it's Holly because she has the tendency to stumble a little when she lands, she told me how clumsy she was.

"Only good thoughts I hope!" she says with a grin as she plonks herself down beside me and the clouds spiral around us "So how exactly did the whole busting into people's dreams go?" she asks curiously.

"Pretty good actually" I saw with a lopsided smile and I tell her everything, well…expect what I told Sara. I told her about each dream individually and how pleased I was with the way everyone had reacted the next day.

"Well that's great!" she says excitedly "I'm so pleased for you. You finished your quest and now…I have the perfect ending."

"Oh, and what's that?" I ask in anticipation.

She leans over closer and whispers in my ear "A second chance…"

What.

My ears must be deceiving me; she didn't seriously just say….no no way she must mean something else. I slowly turn to look at her wide eyed.

"God you look like you think I'm an escaped mental patient" she says with a light laugh and nudging me in the shoulder.

"A second chance?" I say as a question more than a statement. "As in…send me back to Earth…alive?" I ask slowly not daring to believe it to be true.

A smile slowly grows across her face as she nods. "That's it, that's what I've been working on, your surprise. I presented your case to the big guys saying how it wasn't supposed to be you and how you'd been working so hard to put everything right, and they agreed with me."

My mouth drops open a little and moves but no words come out, I just…I can't….

"Holly that's incredible!" I exclaim practically jumping on her and giving her a tight squeezing hug, if she could in the first place I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to breath. She laughs as we end up falling over onto the ground buried amongst the wisps of cloud. "That's the most amazing, fantastic, thing ever!"

"I'm glad you think so." she says as we just lay there looking at each other. I don't think I've ever been so happy. But suddenly that feeling disappears…

"I can't…" I say as our deep brown eyes meet "I can't go back…"

"What, why not?" she says looking shocked and confused.

"You keep saying that it was never meant to be me that died, that it was meant to be Nick. If I go back and survive the crash…then Nick will be taken instead and I just couldn't live with that, not after seeing what death can do to people, I can't imagine living without him, he's my brother."

"Not if we go back and stop the crash from ever happening" Holly points out eagerly "that way you can both be safe."

"But the guy who hit us will still go out, get drunk and drive down that road. Even if he misses me and Nick then he'll kill someone else and… as a CSI it's my responsibility to put the safety of civilians first."

"He won't we can stop him, we can, we just need a plan" Holly says determinedly.

We sit up then and stay in silence for a while thinking up a plan. Every stream of thought I have seems to be a dead end and it appears Holly's having no such luck either. I just don't see how I can stop me and Nick getting killed unless someone else…

Wait…that could just be crazy enough to work.

"Ok I have an idea" I say turning to Holly and whispering it in her ear, I'm not sure why but it just seems like something you don't discuss out loud.

"Yeah…that could work" she says slowly but still her face holds a worried frown "but are you sure you want to try it? Who knows what could happen if something like that goes wrong…"

"I'll risk it for a chance to get my life back; I mean I'm already dead so I don't see what other kind of danger I could possibly get into."

"Ok…ok let's do it. I'll come down with you" she says jumping up to her feet and I stand up too.

"Alright, just, let me say goodbye to my Grandfather. I know he'll want this for me" I say. Holly nods in understanding and I quickly dematerialize myself in search of my Papa Olaf.

I find him soon enough and explain everything, he couldn't be more happy for me just like I knew he would be. I told him how much I missed him all those years and he said he missed me too but he watches me all the time and he's so proud with how far I've come after such a horrific childhood. We hug for what feels like hours before I finally break away and I tell him we will be reunited again for good one day, he says he hopes it's no time soon. We finally say good bye and return to Holly.

"You ready for this?" She asks holding out her hand for me. I accept it. I could teleport myself down but I want to hold her hand just one last time. I nod. "Ok you'll have to bear with me though, time travels a little more tricky" she says with a sheepish smile and I smile back to show it's ok.

I close my eyes and I feel the familiar sensation of wind moving around us. When I open my eyes again it is to the familiar scene of a quite desert road with nothing lighting it except the moon and the stars.

We have returned to night I died. A death which is supposed to occur any minute now.

God I hope this works.

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**And what is the plan? Will it even work? Stay tuned for the last chapter, gripping stuff ;) xx **


	18. Chapter 17: You Never Know

**A/N: Hello my lovely's! It's the last chapter! Boo :'( I think I've invented a new ship which I am calling Golly ^_^ very English, any ways I hope you enjoy this inception like ending and more importantly that it makes sense! **

**McGeeklover ****- Thank you for the great idea! However I'm sorry but did already have an ending planned, but hopefully you'll like it because I guess in a sense Greg does sacrifice himself again ;) but thank you! Xx**

**Please Review :) xx**

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**Chapter 17: You Never Know**

Holly and I wait in silence. Waiting for the sound of two car engines to draw nearer, you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. But if this does work…and I do go back…then I feel there are a few things I need to say to Holly, get them off my chest.

"Will I remember?" I ask quietly turning to look at her. She turns to look at me and the way her eyes twinkle in the moonlight it just beautiful…focus Sanders.

"What do you mean?"

"If I do succeed in this whole resurrection thing, will I remember that I ever died in the first place, will I remember…will I remember you?" I ask quietly.

"No, you won't remember" she says taking hold of my hand "It'll be like it never happened, I promise."

"Well in that case come with me" I plead taking hold of both her hands now and our eyes lock "Please come with me I don't want to forget you, I don't want to forget everything we've been through together…"

"Greg I can't" she says in almost a whisper "I've been dead for too long, if I go back now that could mess up a whole lot of stuff. And besides, I'm kind of happy up there, I'm with my parents. And even though you won't remember this, I will and I'll watch over you…"

"But I don't want…" I bow my head in defeat knowing there is nothing I can say. It would be selfish for me to try and drag her away from her family. "I'm going to miss you" I say running a hand through some of her perfect bouncing curls.

"I'll miss you too" she says putting a hand on my shoulder "but we will meet again one day don't forget." She goes up onto the tip of her toes then and our lips lock for a few seconds, I'm sure if I had a heart beat it would be going like crazy right now, but just because I don't doesn't mean it doesn't make me feel warm inside.

"Promise you'll visit me in my dreams?" I say as she rests her head on my shoulder and I rest my head on top of hers, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I Holly Jayne Gibbs promise thee Gregory Hojem Sanders that I will visit you in your dreams" she says with a smile.

"Good" I say with a satisfied nod "and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. I wouldn't have been able to cope without you."

"You're welcome, it was a true honour working with you sir" she says with a small salute and I laugh.

"Going back, won't it make all the stuff I did in the dreams kind of pointless?" I find myself wondering aloud.

"I don't think so" Holly says "because even though you made your friends happy in the dream. I know they'd be even happier of you were just alive…" I smile in appreciation and give her shoulder a quick squeeze.

We then once again fall back into a tense silence.

It's about five minutes later when the low rumble of car engines start to appear from either side of the hill. Then light's getting brighter and brighter as the vehicles grow closer.

"This is it…wish me luck" I say looking into Holly's eyes one last time.

"Good bye Greg" she says quietly and we hug once more before I start to head out into the road only letting go of Holly's hand at the last minute.

I position myself, closing my eyes tight and concentrating hard, feeling every emotion I possibly could think of and every emotion I have experienced in the past few days…sadness, depression, anger, happiness and love. These where all the emotions that made strong, that made me feel alive, made me solid enough to make physical contact with my friends, made me solid enough to make physical contact with a car…

The world around me seems to slow down as I run…run out in front of both the cars as they are just metres apart. The car driven by the stranger hits me in the back and then all there is, is darkness as I fade once more…

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"Wait was is that?" I ask squinting as a silhouette appears in the car head lights "Nick look out that's a guy!" I exclaim as he appears directly between our car and the car we were about to hit.

Nick pushes down on the breaks hard and the car comes to a halt with a loud Screech. I watch in horror as the guy in the headlights gets hit by the other car.

Wait the guy; he looked just like….but that's impossible…

"Greg!" Nick's worried voice brings me back to reality as he puts a hand on my shoulder "G, are you ok you just cried out in pain!"

"Yeah, I'm ok it's just for a second it felt like…." _Like I'd been hit by a car _I finish the sentence in my mind. "Did you see him, did you see the guy who got hit!" I ask frantically wondering if I actually saw who I thought I saw or if I was just going crazy.

"No I didn't see them properly I was panicking too much…you sure it was a person though? I mean why would they be out here?" Nick asks confused.

"I don't know maybe… it's just I swear I saw…" I climb out of the car to take a look and hear the door slam behind me as Nick follows. "There's nothing here…" I say looking at the gap in-between the two cars, just an empty road. Our car is completely fine yet the other mans has a small dent in the front "I don't understand…"

"I understand that this ass is drunk and I'm going to get him thrown in jail" Nick said walking over to the other man's car and forcing the door open, the man basically falls out and I leave Nick to shout at him whilst I continue to look around for clues of what happened.

I get down on my hands and knees and check under both cars. Nothing under Nick's but under the guys…I see something silver and reach under to pull it out.

"No" I whisper to myself as my eyes widen in disbelief. A Watch, no not just a watch, _the _exact same Watch my Papa Olaf got me for my eighteenth birthday. The Watch I'm currently wearing on my wrist…

With a shaky hand I turn over the Watch and there it is...engraved into the back of the watch…_Gregory Sanders_.

"How is this happening?" I say to myself taking the other Watch off my wrist and comparing them, they are identical in every way.

"Greg?" Nicks voice once again brings me out of my own thoughts. I turn to look at him and see Nick's now holding one of the man's arms behind his back as the guy falls in and out of a drunken consciousness. "Come on we better get this guy to the lab with us and then Brass can take care of him."

"Erm..." I shake my head a few times trying to gain focus; I just can't wrap my head around this. "Yeah, sure..." I quickly shove the Watch I found on the ground into my pocket and put the original one back on my wrist.

I get into the car next to Nick with the drunken guy in the back and we drive away…

To this day I have told no one about the Watch, to this day I still sometimes think back to what the hell could have happened.

And to this day, I am grateful that neither Nick nor I got hurt, because as we all unfortunately know, car crashes often result in death…

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**Well that's it guys I hope you enjoyed! I have most definitely enjoyed writing this story as it's different from anything I've done before. I can't thank you all enough! Thank you to reviewers, readers, followers and favouriters it all means so much to me :) This is my most reviewed and most followed story so that's just fantastic! If I could get to 90 reviews that would be the best thing in the world ;)**

**So yeah I've already got some other ideas on the go so I'll be back soon! Thanks again just in case you didn't know how grateful I was! **

**Lil Badger 101 xx **


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